confused about feelings

My doctor said to me that i have BPD. Im not so sure about that.

Here's my problem.. one day I love my boyfriend, other day i hate him and want to end relationship even there is no special reason for that. and i have problem wiht my attitudes. first I think that something is very bad and that i wont do that never, few weeks later i think that it's normal and i do that for example cheating my boyfriend. I have also problems since my childhoohd with taking alchohol, drugs and pills. It seems like borderline , my doctor say that im unripe even im 23 years old. i think that it is not enough for that diagnose. what do you think ? for me it's so strange diagnose, and i don't understand it even i have read alot about it. for me it's worst that i feel like i will never have normal relationship with someone cause im so unpredictable and confused.

i forget to say that im very depressing, suicidal and self-destructive. im also very impulsive person, and i have lot of burnouts.

My doctor said I had "mild social anxiety" and he was wayyyy off. To this day, I still don't know what I am, or what things that I am. I would try to get more opinions from other doctors if possible. I don't know how practical that is, but that is what I would do for myself if possible.

It vaguely sounds like BPD, but all symptoms these days are very vague when it comes to the true diagnosis. For yourself, I would not stick with situations that keep on failing, but instead try something new that may work (or may not work). I'm not a relationship expert, but maybe try taking a break if you continue to have really low feelings for this person.

I think you are very lucky to get a diagnosis so young. Actually the diagnosis itself is not the be all and end all. If you have bpd traits then getting bpd treatment is never going to do you anything but good. Because our personalities are still forming into our 20s some docs are slow to diagnose because it is harder to be 100% certain. Other believe that bpd traits can and should be treated in children. I fall into that camp because i can recognise bpd traits in myself back as far as 4 or 5 years old (persistent traits-over a year). I was not diagnosed and had never heard of bpd until about 8 weeks ago now. I am now 37. You may be feeling confused and maybe a bit angry about the diagnosis. Imagine going on for another 14 years feeling like you have been feeling and not knowing why. You have been handed a gift. You can start your recovery while you are relatively young and can be spared years more of deeper confusion and pain.

Confused about feelings is exactly what I have been thinking. I mean, I know I have an issue but I am not sure I want to seek help. Heres the delima: If I get help, life can get better, but would that mean I am admitting that there is something wrong with me. But there has been, for a long time. And that is where the contradiction lies. I have been able to hide and control my problem for so long. So why would I want to see a "shrink" and get "fixed"? Most of the time I feel like I can handle being this way but my family is noticing an increase of my switching moods, and how I act. I don't even know that I am doi ng it sometimes. I haven't told them but I have had the urge to hurt myself, which I dont and I control myself. My increasing depression and anxiety is making it difficult to know if I am really here and if I am really able to handle all this. So why am I here? Maybe someone out there can help me decide if I should go to the mental health department. Can any body help me get brave? I am so scared that I will be told that I am screwed up and/or that I will need meds. I definatly dont want to be instatutionalized. WHAT CAN I DO?

As a rule, no diagnosis is complete.
You shrink may be off, or they may not tell you what's wrong because of the label law (you start personifying the illness more when it has a name and symptoms you know about)... there's all sort of things that mess up diagnosis.

Skip the label and get to treatment.
It doesn't matter what they call what's wrong with you or me or anyone, but how we handle the fact we know we have a problem.
Get some treatment, and it won't matter what it's called.

I dont think I care about what its called. Just that I don't want to have something wrong with me. But I do appreciate your answer. Straight forward and sensible. In a time when all my emotions are mixed up its hard to think rationally it helps to have some one tell it like it is, and give a reasonable reply. I still am not totally convinced I want to do this. I don't want my family to know how serious things are getting with me. After all I am supposed to be the strong one that every one depends on and I dont want to let them down.

If there is something wrong and we don't do something about it then we ARE letting the people we love down. If it is getting worse then the quicker we act, the less the possible consequences. Everybody has mental health needs at stages through their life.... everybody. If there is something less transitory at play than bereavement for example, then I would regard it as my duty to my loved ones (particularly when it comes to children) to get help. My 2 cents worth.

You can still be the one everyone depends on, and you don't have to tell anyone.
That's what I did. My mom still heavily relies on me to fix her life... along with various friends and things...
I've always been the strong one, but even the Samson had a weakness (Bible citation, if you're lost on that one... Samson & Delilah).
Don't think about it as a problem. Just file it away with the things you consider character flaws... next to "needs to go to gym" is always a good place.
It's not necessarily a problem... it's just something to work on.

I'm not on meds or in a treatment program... I just exist here... and see a shrink to vent any thoughts that I don't understand once a month. That's it. My BPD is part of my life, in the sense that I've had to learn to control myself... but you're one up on me because I'm also Bipolar.

It's okay, really. This isn't the big thing you think it is, unless you let it be.

Once again, I appreciate everybodies replies. If I am letting my family down by not taking care of my self then thats a problem. I think I am more willing now to seek help but I am still nervous. I am little taken aback however, that some one would say to some one who is dealing with emotional strain "Your battle should be easier" I donk know you and dont pretend to know how hard you struggle. Same goes for you. You don't know what I am going through how can you pass judgement? How can any one compare their problems with anothers? You gave me advice, now heres advice for you- don't ever put a value on some ones issues, you will ultimately denounce their validation and hurt them. The worse thing you can do is tell some one that they or their issue is not valid.