Feel bad about not being 'recovered'

I have been on this forum for two weeks as a women with BPD and I am begining to think it is not for me. I am sick of hearing about 'recovered' BPD's and how life can be wonderful, constantly reading this kind of thing just makes me feel like an absolute failure. I am fifty next month and after being diagnosed four years ago followed by therapy I now have a great deal of insight BUT life is still a daily struggle for me...am I doing something wrong...am I weak. I live in the UK and am lucky enough to live in Cambridge where we have support and treatment for BPD, I am afraid this is not replicated in much of the country, and have never met a 'recovered' BPD, maybe because we are a little behind the US, for example it would be very difficult to find a DBT therapist here. Gosh I do feel weary of this 'fight' to just 'get through', does anybody understand?

appliepie

Ive never met a 'recovered bpd' in person. And theres not that many even on the forums. And also there is no such thing as complete recovery, just coping in different ways. Your not the only one you know, majority of bpds are not treated or recovered.

Hey...you can learn to control your symptoms and think in a different way. Nobody is saying we are recovered. My life IS great. I had to go through hell first though. You are NOT weak. You have a serious mental illness. When you feel, at your own pace, that you are maybe ready to look at some good books about how to get better, I have tons of links. But I won't post any. You need to do it at your own pace.

I am fifty next month and after being diagnosed four years ago followed by therapy I now have a great deal of insight BUT life is still a daily struggle for me...am I doing something wrong...am I weak.

You come off as anything but weak.

You sound self aware, grounded and determined. Frustration is normal...goals never come as quick as we'd like.
Maybe you just haven't given yourself enough credit for the progress you've already made?

Turning 50....hey, your maturity is probably a huge advantage.

You sound like one of the most likely candidates for "recovery".

Don't feel bad. You're not weak.
I'm a lot younger than you, but I know what you mean.
Knowing what's going on doesn't make the fight any easier.

If it makes you feel better, there really isn't a "recovered" area of psychological issues.
There is remission... and the ever present chance of it crashing down.
If you're living a life, doing what you can and just managing to exist everyday... well you're ahead of a lot of people out there... some days myself included.
If you can pull yourself out of bed and set your issues on the backburner long enough to go to work, do your job, walk teh dog, hang out with your kids (if you have any), do laundry... you're doing better than a lot of other people I know.

I think you're doing an amazing job.

Don't feel like a failure. Look, everyone has highs and lows in their life, and they seem to get by just fine. If you give up and let the world run you over, then yes- you are a failure. So, accept what life has thrown at you, and make the best of it. You didn't "choose" to become what you are, so get over it, and work hard on moving on. If something is bothering you, take time and find the source of what's bringing you down the most, and tackle it head on. Once you find that source, perhaps you can post it and we can give some insight.