New person here

Hi, I share in this BPD, and it's getting in the way of my ability to think logically within the context of my relationship. I can't seem to figure it out, but I've spent the last year trying to, and I just can't seem to get it.

Hi Remorse and welcome to the forum.

Feel free to post any question that you have and we will do our best to answer with both Non and BPD answers. Although we are not trained doctors by any means we will answer your questions as best as we can.

Error.

ErrorType11Kid wrote:Hi Remorse and welcome to the forum.

Feel free to post any question that you have and we will do our best to answer with both Non and BPD answers. Although we are not trained doctors by any means we will answer your questions as best as we can.

Ditto. Lots of good folks here, lots of good discussions, and lots of points of view from different angles.

Logic is SOOOOO not your friend....
But like it's been said, we're here to help.

SmileXx wrote:Logic is SOOOOO not your friend.... But like it's been said, we're here to help.

Smile,why do you advise a BPD sufferer that logic is not good for her? I ask because, with BPDs' tendency to believe that their intense feelings are an accurate reflection of reality, their only path to healing is to learn to control those feelings using the logical part of their minds.

Are you in therapy, like DBT, for borderlines? That's your best bet. You need to learn to control thinking with your rapidly shifting emotions rather than with your Wise Mind. I would find a therapist who specializes in borderline (they are there) and start working hard in therapy. It can be done. I really enjoyed my road to, what I call, Understanding. Once you get how most people think, it's so much easier to do it.

I'm going to link you to a few good books. That helped me too:

http://www.bpddemystified.com/

http://www.google.com/search?source=ig& ... g-s1g3g-s1

DowntownDC wrote:

SmileXx wrote:Logic is SOOOOO not your friend.... But like it's been said, we're here to help.

Smile,why do you advise a BPD sufferer that logic is not good for her? I ask because, with BPDs' tendency to believe that their intense feelings are an accurate reflection of reality, their only path to healing is to learn to control those feelings using the logical part of their minds.

I meant that it's hard to think logically... hence logic is not CURRENTLY her friend...
But now that you've brought it up... I never think logically...
I'm no good at it... Can't rationalize a damn thing that enters my head, and even if I can it doesn't help me process it any easier.
I've noticed that I'm the standard deviation from the bell curve on this site, though...
So... maybe I shouldn't be handing out advise at this point...

SmileXx wrote:

DowntownDC wrote:

SmileXx wrote:Logic is SOOOOO not your friend.... But like it's been said, we're here to help.

Smile,why do you advise a BPD sufferer that logic is not good for her? I ask because, with BPDs' tendency to believe that their intense feelings are an accurate reflection of reality, their only path to healing is to learn to control those feelings using the logical part of their minds.

I meant that it's hard to think logically... hence logic is not CURRENTLY her friend...
But now that you've brought it up... I never think logically...
I'm no good at it... Can't rationalize a damn thing that enters my head, and even if I can it doesn't help me process it any easier.
I've noticed that I'm the standard deviation from the bell curve on this site, though...
So... maybe I shouldn't be handing out advise at this point...

Hey smile,

Just a tip, it may help you.

Instead of making a comment that is about the other person.. share about yourself. On this medium, we can't see body language, or tone, and it is soo easy to get confused. So instead of "Logic is not your friend" try, " Logic is not my friend" Make use of the me, mine, my, and I statements. Rarely use "your and you"

I give this advice, because it's what I know I need to take notice of for myself.

Not because I think you've done the wrong thing, but because I note that you appear concerned about giving further advice. My wish is to reassure you, and encourage you and myself to think of other ways to communicate our thoughts.

Serenity
Rainbow

SmileXx wrote:I never think logically... I'm no good at it... Can't rationalize a damn thing that enters my head, and even if I can it doesn't help me process it any easier. ...So maybe I shouldn't be handing out advise at this point.

Smile, your response to me is so logical and articulate that it had to have been written by your rational adult, not your inner child. Indeed, your response -- plus many other posts of yours on this BPD forum -- belie the claim you are no good at thinking logically.

Yes, I know you hate statistics classes. And, yes, I know you often enjoy turning your child lose to run rampant (as is especially evident in your posts in the Bipolar, Avoidant, and Anti-Social forums). But, then, you are almost finished with your undergrad work and still have an IQ of 135 (yes, despite repeated bangs to your head). So I don't buy for one minute the claim that you are not good at logic when you want to do it. It seems to me that your adult is extremely inteligent and capable but that, due to your emotional volatility, your child is in control much of the time, regarding your adult as a "party pooper" and "nag" depriving her of fun.

In any event, I asked my question because I wanted clarification, not because I wanted to discourage you from giving advice. On the contrary, I was very pleased to see you making such an effort to help a newbie-Non. In particular, I was pleased to see you advising Scarlett -- in two other threads -- that "sometimes you have to walk away to save yourself...."

There are a number of BPDs on this forum who are quick to step forward and tell newbie-Nons that -- because a toxic relationship is harming both parties -- leaving an untreated BPD who is unwilling to stay in treatment will be in the interest of the BPD as well as the Non (when no children are involved). They explain that the Non has become an enabler who is enabling the BPD to avoid confronting her illness and thus avoid working to heal herself.

This advice to newbies is important because, even though we Nons give the same advice, our opinions about the welfare of the BPD carry far less credibility than those of BPDs. So, Smile, I am very glad to see you joining BPDs such as Alphabet, Squeekerz, and Sishtasly in this worthwhile effort.

Miss_Remorse wrote:Hi, I share in this BPD, and it's getting in the way of my ability to think logically within the context of my relationship. I can't seem to figure it out, but I've spent the last year trying to, and I just can't seem to get it.

I can relate. This is my first post. I am 30 and just recently diagnosed as BPD. This disorder has basically taken over every relationship I have ever been in. From the time I was 15 with my first BF till my present BF. I had suspected for years that there was something more going on with me besides depression, which I had been wrongly diagnosed with for 15 years. That being said the best advice I can give you is use what you now know about BPD to your advantage. Try the medication definitely go to the therapy. I know everyone is different but this combination has worked for me. Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!