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Emma, if you couldn't have been happy with her, don't worry about things so much. If she does feel bad, she has to take care of it in a healthy way, not by klinging to a relationship. Maybe the fact that she isn't causing a lot of drama might mean that she isn't very hurt.

Heck, no. Move on.

She may have already moved on, therefore feels secure again. Borderlines who are not in treatment need somebody, but there are many attractive, nice people and borderlines find them fast. I know

You weren't happy and she's not getting treatment so just move on. There are other people out there who can better meet your needs.

I know I know... But you know, when you love someone it´s hard to just let them go. I´m doing the best I can though I just hope I´m not hurting her now, and that she ends up feeling abandoned. I will meet her through work in a few days, and I worry so much about seeing her face again. She can have THE saddest look I have ever seen on anybody And it is a meeting which I will lead and in which I will have to ask her many questions and explain stuff to her.. bahhh..

Getting a bpd sufferer to admit they have a problem is very difficult . Emma you have done the right thing because I have been in your situation in the past .
Over a period of about a year I had a relationship with a bpd sufferer . Didnt know what it was then . I found that her aggressive behaviour basically bullied me into becoming a person that I didnt like . I moved away to study for a year (fortunately) and she couldnt deal with me being far away . She in fact broke off our relationship in quite an uncaring way. It wasn't until about 3-6 months after this that I woke up to what had happened to me.
Sometimes we think we love someone when really we are just under a sort of spell . This happens when we are not in contol of things that we would like to be . Our brain can trick us all . Now that I am older I look for virtues in people . Looking back at my ex-girlfriends behaviour I see a lot of nasty behaviour towards myself and other people . She may have had bpd but her behaviour was still nasty . I dont hate her but the way she behaved was wrong and I am so happy I escaped . I'll never put up with that stuff again - sometimes you have got to save yourself