New to this forum

I am the mother of a daughter that has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder among a few other disorders. I my self am bipolar so I understand somewhat of what she is going through. I guess I am just looking for a place for support at this time. Anyone with any good advice?

Hi,

The Bipolar forum on this website gets plenty of responses, but so does the more general 'living with mental ilnesses' forum. You could direct your daughter there?; or maybe takle a look yourself.

Kevin

hi welcome x

I have both. The borderline is harder to deal with, but I'm older now and have had tons of therapy. I'm better. Borderlines create a lot of drama (imo it's not on purpose) and are so sensitive to slights and perceived rejection or real rejection that they can become abusive one day and then be loving the next.
My advice is to develop a rhinohide.

She has never been abusive to other people but her mood swings are very hard to deal with. You never know from day to day what she is going to be like. I sometimes wonder if this bipolar and borderline personality disorders are genetic. I really would love to learn more about these illnesses. I'm at work and can't go into a lot now but I will post more about our situation when i can. Thanks for listening to me ramble.

Welcome, BPmom. Thanks for sharing some of your story with us. I've read that about a third of BPD sufferers also have bipolar disorder. I've also read that BPD is usually associated with abandonment or abuse in early childhood but, in a third of BPD cases, there was no abandonment or abuse -- which suggests that it to some degree is inherited. Having lived with a BPD ex and a bipolar foster son, I found that the bipolar swings normally are 4 or fewer per year, with the mood lasting several weeks. In contrast, BPD mood changes (i.e., rages and tempur tantrums) occur in a minute (sometimes a few second) and typically last 5 hours to 36 hours. As you must know by now, bipolar mood changes are gradual, being caused by body chemistry changes. BPD mood changes, however, are event triggered and thus occur nearly instantly.

I don't know what to do to help her. I don't know why she is having these problems, but I know I have a lot of the same issues she has. I wasn't abused as a child and to the best of my knowledge neither was she. I have worked since she was a baby and I never left her with anyone I didn't trust. If she was abused I don't know who could have done it and she won't open up and talk to me. I am at a loss as what to do. I can barely focus on her because of my own issues. I just want to give up! As far as she goes she doesn't have tantrums or go into rages. It's more like meltdowns. One minute she's happy the next if looks could kill you would be dead. She has also been cutting. She says it's a release for her. I don't know how to help her with that either. It seems like no medication helps. Anyway thanks for listening.

Did you ever hint at wanting to go to a doctor? If she has, then you should very much promote the idea. I haven't heard of much stories of people with Bipolar being put on SSRI's (a type of anti-depressant), but i am of the belief that they'd work effectively. SSRIs 'neutralise' a person's emotions and kind of level them off to a constant. The current class of drugs for Bipolar are rather powerful, namely Lithium. Maybe I'm just speaking utter tripe here though; and others here seem to have more experience in this area than I have. Seriously though: If she has hinted at wanting to see a professional, then latch onto the idea and arrange an appointment. Of course, actually helping her to learn about what Bipolar and BPD actually entail/mean would benefit her too.

Kevin

She has asked for help and we have been seeing dr after dr, (with no help) We have tried different medications to no avail. She is currently in group counseling and seems to be enjoying it. At least she can vent there. We just can't seem to get a grip on it. I am hopping this will help along with the new meds she is on. I have just been trying to figure out if a lot of this is hereditary. I know I deal with a lot of the same things she is but I guess I just cope better at some things and she doesn't have those copping skills. Although lately I think meds would be a Godsend for me. I'm getting tired of copping with mine and hers together.

Hi,

I just noticed that you have posted in the Trichotillomania forum too. What else do you think that your daughter has? All of the medication will not help her unless she really pushes hard to oimprove her life. That is a common mistake that people make - i.e. they believe that medicatiom will suiddenly 'rescue' them, which is never the case. She has to make a huge effort to get her life back into focus, and you must encourage her every step of the way.

Kevin