Getting Cut Off In Traffic

This is one of my triggers... especially with truckers. When they cut right in front of me and go really slow, I return the favor and cut them off. I drive on the highway a lot and this happens all the time. The worst thing is that we have a highway intersection right by my home where there is a truck stop, and truckers pull away from the exit stop sign right in front of me when I am driving 45mph (the speed limit) and then they go 10mph all the way to the truck stop. Several times I have pulled in front of the trucks on the shoulder and then put on my brakes, forcing them to almost come a stop or rearend me (which they won't do due to liability).

When I do this I experience rage. I don't know why I do it. I thought I was the only one who did this, but we were coming back from Wisconisn a few weeks ago and I saw another guy do it to someone. I looked at my wife and said, "Hey, I'm not the only one." I know this is dangerous and I need to stop. I need to get into some type of class to teach me how to deal with this type of trigger. Does anyone else deal with anything like this? If so, have you found any coping strategies?

So, nobody else deals with stuff like this?

Or, is it that you just don't talk about it?

I thought this was a place to be real.

If it's not okay to talk about stuff like this here, then please feel free to direct me to a forum where it is acceptable. I am new here. Thanks!

Road rage is something many people deal with. I'd imagine that it's worse for people with BPD, though, since problems with emotional regulation and self control are a large part of BPD. Personally I'm pretty level-headed but I've still had a couple of incidences when someone's cut me off or driven dangerously around me and I've seen red and responded aggressively.

It might help to try driving a large truck before you get too upset at them. If they pull out in front of you it's because it's the biggest gap they've seen for ten minutes and there's no way they'd get up to speed before a car came even if none were in sight when they pulled out, so they're always going to be cutting someone off. They're usually doing the best they can, their vehicle isn't as fast or manoeuvrable as yours, so cut them some slack. Definitely don't do things like deliberately cutting a truck off and then braking hard - you're not just pissing off a truckie here, you're trying to intimidate the laws of physics, and that doesn't work. Kinetic energy doesn't give a rats about you or whether you have a disorder or whether you were raging at the time. If your car gets into fisticuffs with a truck... You. Will. Lose.

Coping strategies, have you tried the usual anger management stuff? Count to ten, look out the window, admire the clouds, try to think what a nice day it is. Imagine gathering all your rage into a ball in front of you, squeeze it tight so none of it escapes and it's all trapped like some dark red pulsating vein covered tumour. Then throw that ball of anger at the truck that's pissed you off - it's now his problem, not yours, and you can let it go. If all that fails then visualise yourself being horribly crushed to death by a 5-foot-tall bull bar because you have no impulse control and you picked a fight you can't win.

Edit: Maybe I should be clearer - I'm not saying that you shouldn't feel rage like that. Quite the opposite, I understand exactly how you feel because I've been there myself, it's a very natural reaction when some asshole pulls a stunt that could have killed you. I'm just saying that acting on that rage could see you badly injured or dead, and none of us want that. It's certainly OK to talk about stuff like that here, that's why this forum exists!

I deal with anger, but not so much on the road. Plus I'm better than I used to be.

I really suggest getting into DBT or cognitive therapy...that really helped. My rage is way down. Now if I could get over my abandonment issues, I'd be good .

You must live in Illinois. I'm always coming BACK from Illinois to go to Wisconsin Man, those Illinois drivers...oh, j/k

I really think all of us with BPD need a lot of therapy and that we can do really well if we listen to the therapist and allow him/her to help us (but get a good one).

I don't really think people without BPD can really relate to our triggers and what sets us off unless they are used to working with us. Good luck.