hi i have bpd i feel very alone and angry

If there is anyone like me who feels so bored that he wants to kill him self please write me.

*raises hand*

Hi, it was only today, in fact, that I was thinking about how bored life seems to be, and then I thought about death. However, I know that I won't do it, and I know that you won't either. So, it looks like we are forced to just remain alive for the time being, right? Look, things will be hard - okay? - but don't ever give up hope my friend. There is a better life out there for you.

Kevin

I am in the same boat as you man.

I think bpders get bored easily. I'm older t han most people here and I've actually come to LOVE the peace and quiet. The drama sucks, but makes us feel alive. I used to have this "void" in my stomach, like I was totally alone even in a crowded room, and I needed stimulation to forget about that. Yet I drove people away.

I'm a lot better these days. Guys, bpd gets better when you get older, and you can get better RIGHT NOW with the right therapy. After I had cognitive therapy I was better forever and now with DBT I'm even better. I think talk therapy is a big waste for us. We need to learn how to control our emotional dysregulation. My shrink tells me that the new DSM will upgrade BPD to Axis I and call it Emotional Dysregulation Disorder. I hope so. That explains it a lot better.

Since there is now hope for bpds, why not check Amazon and order some books? If you are like me, you can feel suicidal one moment and happy the next (emotional dysregulation), so why not wait until your emotions change again? I've managed to end up with a good life in spite of fighting bpd. You guys can too!

I am not a book reading person so Amazon is out of the question. They screw you over on the shipping anyway so I can't afford it.

Marv, you sound like me when I get locked into: "Whatever anyone suggests I won't or can't do it" mode . I think it's just part of borderline. Look, if you don't read, there are a lot of resources online and CBT and DBT therapy are great. You might mess up again, but not nearly as often, and you can learn how to be happier. It's almost like a classroom for people with BPD.

If I can get better, I know anyone can. It does take hard work so wait until you are in a better place and check the internet for "dialectal behavioral therapy." It's better than reading an entire book, if you aren't a reader.

There is nothing wrong with messing up sometimes. We have a serious disorder that is a lifelong problem, but we can certainly make our lives much better and learn to live in peace with others. Most importantly, we can learn how to think with our minds rather than our emotions, even if we can't always do it. I am very aware when I'm having "borderline moments" these days and that helps bring me back to logic. Easy? No. But it gets easier with time.

Think about it.

AGCDEFG you make a lot of sense x

I second that, me123. AGCDEFG, I couldn't have said it better myself. I love catching my "BPD moments." That's how I really get better. Each time they're not as big and I can now catch myself sometimes BEFORE they even happen.

Marv, I know you said you weren't into books, but I've read three really good ones. Mostly they helped me feel like I'm not alone. Not was "messed up" as I thought. "Sometimes I act crazy," is a really good one.

Hang in there,
Sly

I use humor to snap myself out of a self-pity funk too. I'll tell myself "Don't do the borderline!" or "stop going all borderline over this." That kind of makes me realize I'm thinking with my emotions and it reminds me to write down the reality of the situation...the cold, hard facts. My emotions almost NEVER match the facts.

Example: (my thought) "My daughter-in-law is keeping me away from my grandson! Her mother sees him all the time, but when we come in to town to visit, she doesn't go out of her way to make sure I can see him!!!! She wants to keep him from us! I just know it!" (emotional garbage/borderline crap)

The reality: Her mother lives near her and I live in the next state. Grandson will NOT be as close to me because we live far apart. It's pretty hard for her to go out of her way to make sure he sees me when he naps, is on a feeding schedule, and doesn't know who I am so he isn't that friendly. This is just reality. The emotional "poor-me" and "bad her" is just that...emotional garbage. It's a borderline painting daughter-in-law as "all bad." And it's nonsense. She is neither all good or all bad. She is, like most, in the gray area.

My daughter-in-law is difficult as is my son, who I think is antisocial. That is also a fact. I can be difficult too, but I actually DO have the ability to use the skills I've learned to be accepting. I have done very well recently. I give credit to DBT therapy, but also pat myself on the back a bit for reaching out for help when I think I might "do the borderline." We have a lifelong disability, like a diabetic, but we CAN do a lot to control it. And we can be proud of ourselves when we are victorious.

I hope this makes sense. Like most borderlines, I can ramble!

I hope this makes sense.

Makes perfect sense to me, Alphabet. I have enough difficulty keeping my emotions in check when my family members are in the gray area. And I don't have to struggle with the emotional tides caused by BPD. You are simply amazing, Alphabet!