If borderlines find a person...

Who loves them a lot and takes care of them financially, emotionally and sexually..
will they ever leave him or cheat on him?
Why do they need new love?
What is the longest documented successful relationship with a borderline without cheating?
Do they love you less when you love them more?

It probably just depend on the person. It would depend on how that particular person practices self destruction. Some do it through sexual things. Nobody should have to put up with that however. I understand it but that doesn't make it right. Myself, my wrong doings have never involved that sort of thing. I'm mentally self destructive, though I've made great strides at getting better. I have never cheated on anyone I've ever been in a relationship with. Finding someone who actually cares for you is hard enough as it is. The last thing I want to do is cheat on them. I do that and I KNOW they'll leave. Just doing the come close- go away nonsense is bad enough as it is. Cheating would end it immediately most likely. That would be intolerable. I've been totally faithful to people I didn't even want to be with! Just because I didn't want to be alone. Still, we're not all exactly the same. Some of us might be loyal as hell out of fear of abandonment but others, due to self destruction and no impulse control, will be unfaithful as hell. It depends on the individual.

Thanks for the reply.
My ex who left her 2 husbands and left a long term relationship with me, now says that
she found the man she is looking for all her life.
Dont all BPD's think like that during the initial phase of the relationship?

Probably, yes. The term "soulmate" gets thrown around a lot as well. When a boderline meets someone new we have a tendency to view that person as "all good" and the greatest thing we've ever come across. We want to be in this relationship as fast as possible because we finally found "the one". The relationship either ends quickly or it can persist for a long time if the borderline fears aloneness enough and the non-borderline is willing to put up with the borderline. In the end you still wind up with an unhealthy relationship no matter what. This continues until the borderline individual acknowledges the problem and works to change it. We seem to have this attitude that it's not us, it's everyone else. We want to world to change because we shouldn't have to. This method of thinking is childish and counter-productive obviously. So yeah, until we admit there is something wrong with us we will continue to meet people and immediately think we've just met the person of our dreams, only to wind up sad and disappointed, yet again, when this new caregiver fails to live up to our demands, which is of course inevitable.

Todays blog entry titled: BOD Mirroring: Meet your Soul Mate?

Ok, I'll admit I added the ? but after I met the borderline and had a torrent, exciting, sex and drug filled affair before leaving my wife and moving in with her I expressed this exact emotion for her, that she was my soulmate. I now realize that it wasn't until after I expressed this that she recipricated the feeling, she never brought it up I did.

I loved that she was fun and exciting, fasionable, into music, and mountain biked (although she didn't have a real mtb until after I was with her...). She really was emeshed into the local scene around here and later I found out she had been with several guys who were all associated in some way with the bike scene here.

I will add that due to the nature of how we started (sex,sex,sex) that even after we settled into a 'dating' routine this was a high, high priority area for her. She would even make statements about how she was a nympho compared to me. Looking back I can recognize this a potential mirroring of our 'honeymoon' stage.
http://mybpdrecovery.blogspot.com/

I needed to add for those who have not seen this in another post of mine, that when she contacted a
friend of mine and told him within five minutes that she had been dating this 'nice' guy for the past two months (1-17-10 is the 2 month marker and this was 2 weeks ago!) how she stated his good is just another example of the splitting and honeymoon period.