.

ok, so splitting black is an extreme feeling of hatred brought on my a trigger that could last a short amt. of time or forever if they see no more good coming out of you.

i have read alot of articles by aj mahari. (do you know of her? a recovered borderline who is now acting as a life coach for others) well, anyway, i really respect her opinions. she states that i am ALWAYS seen as black or white. always. no apathy. so, i am not saying this in a derogatory way at all, but are you disagreeing with her? are you saying that i can be seen 3 different ways? that is an interesting alternative to aj's theory. i would love to hear more from your experience.

also, LAST QUESTION, i SWEAR!!! i can accept that she used to hang with me or call me everyday and now switched to every few days. but can you please address the IM issue i am having? we used to IM each other everynight for hours. now when she sees me online(on AIM or something similar), she ignores me by logging off or if i IM her, she doesnt even respond. (this is during the 2-3 days in which we dont speak) just wondering...

thanks for all the great responses! oh, the weight example was great, EXCEPT, of course, she is absolutely beautiful so it wouldnt apply!! lol!! thank you so much!!

The IM thing is push-pull. She probably doesn't actually log off, just goes invisible to see if you care enough to send her an offline - IM. Don't bite the bait.

Re: Splitting: I experience it personally differently than a BPD does. I have done a lot of self-analysis so I could break it down earlier, but it doesn't have to do with a "fear of merging". I am not afraid of merging, as I consider my friends to be a part of me. That is why when one of them betrays me (or infantilizes me), my ego decides to utilize this mechanism. It feels like a cancer on my body that needs to be excised. Do I allow the cancer to linger on and multiply? No. I must cut it off instantly.

I can't answer for a BPD any further, but I do know that when I get turned off (superficiality is what I truly despise, and I sense it very easily), I automatically lose all attraction for a person and become completely apathetic towards them. They do not know any better. It is I who must hold stern moral convictions and never waver.

Re: my experience - White and Black with apathy in the mix. Don't care about anything I care about, they like to come and go and use as they please. They think their push-pull is effective, but if they want to waste their time they can go right ahead.

thank you so much for all of your responses. i really appreciate the time you dedicated to helping me. take care.

hi everyone,

so, i was doing ok for awhile, but now i have a new question. i was finally back to having a decent relationship with my former best friend, and then out of the blue, 2 days ago, she stopped all phone calls again. i text messaged her twice, but she refuses to call me back. am i split black?? if so, why?? i thought all was good. no fighting, nothing. am i missing something?

Sometimes someone with borderline personality disorder, treating someone else badly, is there way of punishing the person.

hi shattered_crystals,

just wondering if you have bpd or are a non-borderline like myself?

marylynn wrote:hi shattered_crystals,

just wondering if you have bpd or are a non-borderline like myself?

I do know at times that I have symptoms of it, that if I did not have I wouldn't get horrible episodes. Weather I have borderline personality disorder, though, I am unaware.

telemachus wrote:it's not uncommon for BPDs to be narcissistic, from what I've read anyway...

Besides, psychology/psychiatry is not really an exact science, lots of grey areas which means these "disorders" can overlap at many points. also it would seem people can graduate from one PD to another over time, or have a mixture of two or more. I'm not saying multiple personality, just a host of traits

I think a diagnosis of one particular PD is necessary only to decide on treatment, but I'm no psychiatrist

At times though, someone with borderline personality disorder has bad self esteem as a symptom. There view of themselves though, tend to vary, for some with borderline personality disorder.

do you sometimes use silence as a form of punishment?

Yes.