the ultimate way to protect myself

now im stuck with one big thought.

that is to kill my ex...because if i kill him no one will ever touch him.
i dont want him to be anyone else's.
i wanna kill him and then i want to die as well.

i love him so much i dont want anyone to touch him.
i have to kill him so that he will only be mine forever.

Catty, have you told your psych about this? I hope you realize that these thoughts could be dangerous.

I hope you report her IP to the local authorities and have them warn her ex. Most murders are crimes of passion, stemming from situations just like this.

Nevermind, read her other posts.. And pardon my french.. Screams attention wh...

Id go read about Histronic Personality Disorder if I were you. Looks like someones comorbid here..

Clinton wrote:Nevermind, read her other posts.. And pardon my french.. Screams attention wh...

Id go read about Histronic Personality Disorder if I were you. Looks like someones comorbid here..

Hit the hammer right on the head.

Maybe she wants attention... maybe not...
Catty, harming someone is not love. And if you are BPD, you know that it's just your mind playing tricks on you, don't you? You don't want to do that, but you are decieved to believe you do, by your own mind. Just think a little. Take care...

Jasmine,

my pych here in japan doesn't know, he's such a dickhead and i hate him. i was gonna call him yesterday i wasn't gonna see him again because i was gonna kill myself. i know i wanted to do it to get some reaction out of him. i have a complete trust for my counsellor in sydney and im gonna email him now.

i know it could be dangerous. i can see myself really doing it.
i need someone to stop me but when im in that state of mind, no one can stop me


Clinton,

call me morbid or whatever.
and there is no need to tell my ex because he was the first person to know it. i emailed him and told him i wanted to kill him.

and yes i suspected i might have histrionic personality traits and have researched it before.


Whocares

i dont know what i wanted.
i wanted to get things off my chest for sure.

it scares me. i don't want him to be anyone else's.
i know i would hurt any female who gets close to him too.
i dont want to kill him but i sometimes feel like i have to, like
there is no choice.





yesterday i was gonna die. i was gonna hang myself when everyone had gone to bed. i told mum i would. i sent my ex a farewell note (how many times did i send it to him in the past....).
but i couldnt die, such a coward :/ i feel better now than yesterday but still pretty suicidal. i have a doc appointment on the 30th but i hate him (i feel rediculed and denied) and no intention of changing the doc because i saw a different one and he was such a dick too.
i want to talk to my counsellor in sydney face to face. he hasnt replied to my last email and im worried he hates me because im hopeless. i was gonna tell him yesterday i hated him for not caring me enough and i didnt need any more help from him because i was gonna kill myself but if i lost him, i would be hopeless. so i didnt email him that.

and the medication never works. i overdose.
i wouldve done it yesterday if my mum hadnt taken my meds away when i overdosed last time.

Wait for your counsellor in Sydney to reply, he's probably a bit busy. I'm sure he'd never give up on you. It's a shame this other counsellor isn't taking what you're going through seriously.

Jasmin

i dont know...he used to write me back very quickly but now
he sometimes ignors my emails.

my psych put me down so much.

The other psych put your down? What the hell is his problem.. Do you have to see him?
Maybe he's really busy. Try to do anything that usually keeps your mind off this stuff.