abuse survivors with BPD- how do we define our own reality?

am really struggling to validate myself and experiences. i keep feeling like a fraud and a liar for feeling so hurt by being abused. i know a lot of other BPDs have issues with self-validation and realising their worth, but

...sorry, i forgot to finish!! (silly me!).

what i was saying is, that having been abused and being told repeatedly that i was making it up or that my experiences didn't count, i now feel angry with myself for hurting over it.

i kept trying to tell myself for ages that the abuse didn't really matter and that am being overdramatic, but it doesn't work. i just feel overwhelmed with sadness and confusion.

You were right to feel hurt.
If people should feel hurt over anything, it would be over things like that (your being abused and then people trying to deny away your experience).

That's something how you turned the anger against yourself, when it should have gone towards them.
(but then not to hold on to it, which would only hurt you more).

This isn't overdramtics on your part. Maybe if you really accept the whole situation that happened to you was wrong, that it did matter, that such an experience would make other things harder for you to deal with, and that you were justified in your feelings about it...once you accept the truth, maybe then you can move on past it.

i hope so, i really hope so...

i got over my sexual abuse.. i say got over...
that's not it
I learned how to not let it rule me.

there's a great book that comes with a work book called
the courage to heal.

it's very personal and very good.
ofcoarse you need some one to talk to about it.
sexual abuse is hard.. sometimes people close to us can't handle it.

I have alot of experience with this type of abuse. I was raped by two different men at different times, different states for that matter when i was just 6 years of age. I didn't even remember it or discover it untill 12 years of age. I am now 31 years old and my sexual abuse does not rule my life anymore.

it is part of who i am yes. i'm sure i havn't shed my last tear over it.

but i remember a time when i couldn't sleep. i would cry for days. I felt sorry for that little girl. I felt sorry for me for being that girl.

what' i'm saying is, you don't have to feel this bad for such long periods of time.

and hey... If you ever need a sound off. advice. or someone to share with. some one who won't judge ya. I'm here. I'm sure some others are too.