I can't decide

How do you guys decide. I can't decide at all.
I have to rent a flat. There's one for 22000 inr but no furniture.
I feel why live in such an expensive flat. I'm as it is depressed. Who cares anyway...

Even if I were earning 1 million a month, I'd still struggle to decide.

i just keep on looking at cons and at reasons to not make any decision. n then i freak out while time to take any decision has gone by.

maybe this can help:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaJmw54BMcw

Usually I constrain myself for low cost things. Like nothing above a certain amount. Or just go for cheapest and go up in the scale.

The I have some minimum in quality. For apartments, it needs a balcony, ways to do laundry, be in a convenient place with the amenities I want nearby.

So I will look for places that have the minimum, look at the few options and see if the price is worth the different qualities.

As the video says, the key is to constrain yourself in order to avoid uncertainty, but keep a few choices open. Maybe you just have too many choices, and yes, if you were super rich, it would make things worst, not better.

Work out what you will and will not compromise on. When looking for a place to live my most important ones are somewhere that feels safe, and it has to have a certain level of cleanliness. Old is ok, but for me, it must be able to be cleaned. The wishlist item was somewhere to park my car undercover, but that ended up not an option within my budget. I walked away from viewing several places with a "hell no". One had a shared laundry that didn't look like it had ever been cleaned, one had mould covering the entire bedroom ceiling, and one overlooked a really dodgy part of town. It did take a while to find a place that fitted.

As for furniture- I started out with a lot of items that I'd got cheap or for free- had a friend whose father had recently passed, and they were in the process of cleaning out the house, so I picked up a number of items from her, or I'd got from opportunity shops, or had family who offered me items that they had surplus. I purchased my appliances new and spent a modest amount on a brand new bed and mattress. I've been gradually updating furniture as funds allow and as I find what I like.

The process of contacting the agent, viewing a place and applying took a lot of energy. But escaping family and finally having my own space changed everything for me though. I hope you can find a suitable place.

the issue is i dont like this city one bit. i have no friends here.
i dont want to move on in life. it means going away from past.

i cannot decide at all. one moment i look at pros. one moment i look at cons. maybe its black n white thinking of bpd. its so so tiring.

my criteria must haves:
decent society.
lift must be there
car and bike parking must be there

jaus tail wrote:the issue is i dont like this city one bit. i have no friends here.
i dont want to move on in life. it means going away from past.

I am not sure I understand you.
You don't like the city you are in right now, perhaps because you have no friends? or are they separate problems?
The second thing you say is you don't want to move on because it will mean loosing the past? So it's the change itself that is the problem? maybe you don't like to change?

jaus tail wrote:i cannot decide at all. one moment i look at pros. one moment i look at cons. maybe its black n white thinking of bpd. its so so tiring.

Yeah, well it looks like you are not committed to move out. It's understandable, but it's a different problem than actually choosing what you want. I was answering the latter. I am not sure how to fix that. It's like procrastination. Usually when I move out, it's because I've had enough of a place, so the issue does not really appear. But I might procrastinate if it is only a wish I have, like improving some situation. If it's your issue, I am not sure I can help, because I almost change out of necessity or on an impulse. The latter can be done, but all it needs is you put your fist on the table and say: "now". If it's really tiring for you right now as you seem to imply, it might be the time. Just act and don't overthink it. Besides it looks like there is not much to loose for you (not sure if it is what you were trying to say).

jaus tail wrote:my criteria must haves:
decent society.
lift must be there
car and bike parking must be there

Now sure what the first one implies, but it seems like a start. Now you need a price range according to your means, look at the possibilities, maybe 3 or 4 choices and decide the right one.

1PolarBear wrote:

jaus tail wrote:the issue is i dont like this city one bit. i have no friends here.
i dont want to move on in life. it means going away from past.

I am not sure I understand you.
You don't like the city you are in right now, perhaps because you have no friends? or are they separate problems?
The second thing you say is you don't want to move on because it will mean loosing the past? So it's the change itself that is the problem? maybe you don't like to change?

i have no friends. i want no friends. i want to go back to 2013.
in 2013 i had a nervous breakdown. life was going good before it. every moment i wish it had never happened.
i just want to go to that time and undo the turn of events. life was so so easy then. i was working in city where my family is. it was all going so well.

jaus tail wrote:i cannot decide at all. one moment i look at pros. one moment i look at cons. maybe its black n white thinking of bpd. its so so tiring.

Yeah, well it looks like you are not committed to move out. It's understandable, but it's a different problem than actually choosing what you want. I was answering the latter. I am not sure how to fix that. It's like procrastination. Usually when I move out, it's because I've had enough of a place, so the issue does not really appear. But I might procrastinate if it is only a wish I have, like improving some situation. If it's your issue, I am not sure I can help, because I almost change out of necessity or on an impulse. The latter can be done, but all it needs is you put your fist on the table and say: "now". If it's really tiring for you right now as you seem to imply, it might be the time. Just act and don't overthink it. Besides it looks like there is not much to loose for you (not sure if it is what you were trying to say).

just act and dont think about it...the thing is i've lost so so much in life, i'm careful now about losing anything more.

jaus tail wrote:my criteria must haves:
decent society.
lift must be there
car and bike parking must be there

Now sure what the first one implies, but it seems like a start. Now you need a price range according to your means, look at the possibilities, maybe 3 or 4 choices and decide the right one.

there are some societies here that dont have elevator. bad furniture. fighting neighbors etc

found a place to stay but it has a 6-month lock-in period. i'm reluctant to commit for 6 months. not that i have any other place to go but id rather move to a place that has a 1-month notice period.

Add it to your list of requirements.
I also have 6 months. I don't particularly like it, but I am not planning on moving.

Where I live, 6 months is pretty standard as a minimum, though my landlord put three months minimum on the flat below me, purely so they could weed out problem tenants if that happened again. I look at it as 6 months gives you the security of having the place for that term. Often there's terms in a lease too that lock in the amount of rent you pay for that term as well, where they can't increase it without providing sufficient notice and have agreement in the lease.

Could you ask if they'd offer a shorter lease period?