We both have Borderline Personality Disorder. Can this work?

We love each other but we just keep triggering each other. I want to spend the rest of my life with him but as soon as I get close, he runs.
I can feel him energetically. I know he loves me but I just don't know what to do anymore. It feels like the way I feel about him is going to destroy me, but if I leave I will confirm all his fears, plus I don't want to leave him.
He was my college sweetheart and I honestly have loved him forever. I'm sat here crying. I just don't know what to do.

Sending you hugs......

Only you know if this can work or not. Sometimes, no matter how much you love someone a relationship won't last. Sometimes Love isn't enough.

I fell in love with someone when I was 17. He didn't feel the same, although the attraction was real. 3 times we tried oddly every 10 years. And it always ended. Not because of mental health but we just weren't right enough. We wanted different things. Our lives just weren't compatible enough. He doesn't suffer from any kind of mental health issues.

I will always feel the same for him but it ended up hurting us both too much to be together. The feelings were there but together our lives just didn't work.

I'm in my 50s now. I still think of him but I'm glad we didn't stay together. I think in the end it would have ended up hurting me too much if we'd stayed together. We didn't split up because of the BPD. I wasn't diagnosed with that for another 30 years!!

-- Sat Nov 07, 2020 1:22 pm --

Meant to say also, you can't stay together just because leaving would hurt him or confirm his fears. That isn't love.

You ok?

I will be. Thank You

He's blocked me. I don't know what I've done wrong

Tinkerbell17 wrote:We love each other but we just keep triggering each other. I want to spend the rest of my life with him but as soon as I get close, he runs.
I can feel him energetically. I know he loves me but I just don't know what to do anymore. It feels like the way I feel about him is going to destroy me, but if I leave I will confirm all his fears, plus I don't want to leave him.
He was my college sweetheart and I honestly have loved him forever. I'm sat here crying. I just don't know what to do.

i think with bpd the issues comes with extremities.

by staying together, you both dont have to be in front of each other all the time.
nor does staying away imply blocking each other and never talking.

even married couples go in vacations with their separate group of friends once in a while or go on solo trips. we all need some space.

my one friend told me eventually everyone gets bored in marriage. spark/zing is overrated. one also needs a set of friends or whatever stuff to recharge oneself without involving the spouse.