Empathy fluctuations/covid 19

Hi everyone,

It’s been a while.

Basically, it’s like the title says. I am confused.

Does anyone else have massive fluctuations in empathy levels?
I do. I either care about things far more than I should or not at all. I even find myself empathising with sociopaths sometimes.

I go through stages where my empathy is so low and then it goes right back up again.

I think it may be some kind of survival mechanism to protect me when I’m feeling attacked. Like a ptsd thing.

For example, I feel a little guilty saying this but I am having trouble caring that much about the covid 19 situation. I do care. There is some level of me that cares. But I don’t feel it.
I don’t feel anxious or scared. I don’t feel sad. I don’t feel bad about the people who have died. I don’t feel afraid at all. I am still very much sticking to the rules and government guidelines. But I’m dealing with it incredibly well. I’m not phased at all.

I really don’t care that much about it. I see it as something that the world has to overcome. It might take a couple of years but eventually we’ll get through it. It’s just something that happened.

Does that make me a bad person? I really should be worried. But I’m not. I really should feel something but I don’t.
I’m finding myself getting incredibly irritated with people who are anxious and panicking.
I want to just tell them to accept that a lot of people are going to die and to just deal with it. I almost feel guilty for not caring.

Anyway. Hope you’re all doing good. Just something I observed about myself that I wanted to put out there.

Everyone deals with things differently. I'm like you. Of course I am being careful and safe like the rest of us. I've never been a worrier or particularly prone to anxiety and I can't live in a constant state of fear all the time. But it isn't the same for everyone. I think we just need to be mindful of that. Some will have lost loved ones already, some are struggling to cope. It's going to be hard for all of us in it's own way. So even if you're not feeling it, be kind.

Remember Ronni wrote:Everyone deals with things differently. I'm like you. Of course I am being careful and safe like the rest of us. I've never been a worrier or particularly prone to anxiety and I can't live in a constant state of fear all the time. But it isn't the same for everyone. I think we just need to be mindful of that. Some will have lost loved ones already, some are struggling to cope. It's going to be hard for all of us in it's own way. So even if you're not feeling it, be kind.

They do yes. I am being kind. I don’t feel like being cruel to people as such, I just don’t feel much at all.
I expected something like this to happen for a long time. I’ve been mentally prepared for a crisis worse than this. Maybe that’s it.
I don’t want people to die, but I have just accepted that it is something that will happen and all we can do is try to do our bit personally and control what is in our power to control.
As I said before, I think it’s a survival thing. I think that I go cold in order to survive. Some situations in life require the most amount of logic and the ability to not panic. In this situation panic and anxiety is not going to help. Emotional thinking will not help us get through it.
I have loved ones myself that are at very high risk. I am doing my best to protect them.

I think that empathy is a strange thing and can be affected by trauma. I think if you’ve been through extreme trauma and didn’t receive care afterward it can make you lose empathy.
Not necessarily entirely but I think there’s a link between trauma and loss of empathy.

Despite all I’ve said I just got a tear in my eye watching the Queen’s speech. And I’m not particularly fond of the Queen.

It's a strange time for all of us I think and there will be ups and downs. Perhaps when you're facing something as enourmous and unprecedented as this you do go into your survival mode - you always put the oxygen mask on yourself first, in a plane. Perhaps to face so many deaths it's easier not to feel empathy. As I said everyone copes with these things different - some fight, some flee, some freeze. We don't always know how that's going to go or how we will react. I think it would be unusual if you weren't feeling mixed emotions with all this going on.

I think that’s exactly it yes.
It’s too hard to feel empathy for that many people.

But I also just think, people live and people die. We all die at some point.

Horrible things happen in life sometimes. You just have to deal with them best you can.
It’s not as if the planet was full of hearts and rainbows before. It’s not as if we’re not all heading towards some kind of apocalypse. It’s not like we’re a civilised race.
I think this virus in whatever way it came to be is the way of fighting back against us because we are like a disease of planet earth. We function on this planet like a virus ourselves. We multiply in numbers faster and faster consuming every natural resource along the way and destroying our host.

Sorry.

A virus' job is to multiply and survive just like us. This one is strange bcause it's jumped from bats i think to other animals and now to humans. I read several big cats in a Zoo in the US tested positive and they caught it off their keeper. I think the animals are doing fine but it's unusual to find something that can do this.

We are going to see a lot of death, but many more us will survive. I know a vaccine is a way off but if they can ramp up the testing that would be a big help = many might be able to return to a more normal life with some restrictions in place of course. The doctors/scientists are already carrying out human drug trials on things they've found to help in the lab. It may not stop it but it might slow it down or stop it from becoming fatal. So we shouldn't give up hope. We do need to buy them time though so if you can stay at home, do. It might save your life or that of someone you care about.

Perhaps the lack of empathy is just another way of coping with it all. Maybe just our minds way of protecting us.

Perhaps yes.

Someone just messaged me telling me they’re scared because of hearing about doctors having to choose between people to give a ventilator too....

It’s really irritating me. I just want to say to them, HELLO... this is just the beginning. WTF Do you want me to say? Many decisions like that are gonna have to be made. You gonna text me about every single one??

Ugh.

People want you to go ‘oh that’s so horrific!’
It’s like.... it’s what’s happening. DEAL WITH IT.

What on Earth is wrong with me.

As I said before, I am strictly following government advice. I do not intend on getting this nor do I intend to spread it to anyone else. It is frightening yes. I guess what annoys me is people going argh! Argh! It’s so scary.

I just want to go ‘For gods sake toughen up’.

I feel like an absolute bitch for feeling that way. But I can’t help it.

I guess it’s just my way of coping...

I want people to survive. I want the best possible outcome for everyone. If there is anything I could do to help anyone I will. I am the one telling people to follow the guidelines and stick to the rules.

I could change at some point. I could flip and become terrified and sad or full of adrenaline or manic and potentially delusional... I don’t know.

I think this side of me most definitely comes out to protect me from the above states. Because I don’t function well in them.

I actually have this theory that this side of me developed to protect me from the emotional instability and how much it screws me up and affects my ability to cope.