End of Relationship conflicting behavior?

Hi,
i'm really confused and could use some insight here, i don't have BPD but i was involved with a man who does have it. Our situation is really complicated because we were involved in an affair, because he is in an open relationship, but his partner said we could not see each other any more. So I said I would need some space, and the man i was seeing was very upset and resistant to having anytime apart from each other, so then he started calling me behind his partner's back and telling me how much he loved me, and he was basically in tears on the phone, and he called me multiple times from his job secretly to talk about his love and feelings for me, and i felt the same way about him and i care about him so much. he always would say he is a bad person or that he is evil, and i would tell him it wasn't true, because he has always been so kind to me, and he is very sensitive and gentle, but he started sounding more and more depressed when he called me and he started saying he wished he wasn't human and that he just wanted to run away, but he ended by saying he loved me. Well then his partner found out about the calls and the man i was seeing then called me in the presence of his partner and said we couldn't talk any more, and he went on to say that he didn't really mean all the emotional things he said to me, and that he wasn't himself and was just saying what i wanted to hear because he wanted to "keep things going" or something like that. I was really sad to hear all of this, i know he was in trouble with his partner, but i also wonder if he was really faking all that emotion and sentiments when we had those private talks. He also told me that this would be easier to get over for him than for me and that he was not very emotional. When i asked him if he was acting when he was practically crying to me on the phone, he said sort of. i know that people with bpd fear abandonment so i thought maybe part of what he was doing was trying to hold onto me by saying how much he loved me, but at the same time, the way he was acting on the phone the last time we spoke sounded so cold and detached, i don't know what to believe about how he really felt and i'm kind of heartbroken and also worried about him....sorry this was so long, do you guys have any thoughts?

This guy is messing with your head, messing with your mind and messing with your life.

He's a mess, and it's up to you whether you want to have this type of mess in your life or not.

He's proven he's unfaithful.

I would also say he's telling lies when he says he has an open relationship but then his partner recants his permission, it sounds like the relationship is not as open as he's told you, if it ever was in the first place.

He uses emotional blackmail to get you to compliment him. Stuff like saying he's evil and not human are childish ways to get you to compliment him.

This guy is just bad news all round. Walk away from him and go back to enjoying your life.

THanks for your message, i think you are probably right, it's just hard to process that our 10 month relationship was based on a lot of emotional manipulation and dishonesty. He would also say things to me like, he is not a good person, just someone who "pretends" to be a good person, and at one point he told me he is a sociopath. Yeah, it does seem like there were plenty of red flags, i just thought that he was someone who was working through a lot of difficult stuff, but i thought he was being sincere when he would open up to me and that he was just looking for support. Does that all sound in line with BPD? I just am trying to make sense of what i meant to him, if anything at all. What makes this harder for me is that this was my first relationship.
thanks for your perspective and insight!

yes, it is in line with BPD.

Look at it this way, if this is the end of your first relationship, it can only get better from here.

Also, the bright side is, you could have said, "End of a 10 year relationship."

Could it be possible his last call to you was dictated by his current partner?

Started out in an open relationship, but then his partner obviously changed her mind. And now she could be demanding him ending it with you, and cutting all ties.

She could of even be listening in on the conversation. It is quite remarkable what lengths we could go to in the name of "love". And BPD`s like myself fear abandonment above all, and that can drive us to do some pretty insane things.

Sounds to me like he got a lot of understanding from you, and I belive it might be that reason for him to pour out his fears and worries to know. It more unlikely to me that he did that just for your sympathy vote...

Just my 2 cents