Unhealthy Relationship w BPD?

I wanted some people's opinions on relationships with BPD people.

So I'm dating a girl with BPD, shes in therapy and on some combination of meds. I am also in therapy for depression and also on meds. So like immediately, I know this is something I have to put work into.

I love her so much, and I do everything in my power to always be there for her. Even when shes having (for lack of a better term) manic episodes, i try to show her that her feelings are legitimate (i never say like "oh everything is fine everything is fine its all in your head"), but i dont back down if she is saying something thats not true (like saying certain people are against her or anything like that).

shes shown so much strength in dealing with a lot of old family problems after years of never being in treatment, and shes worked so much with me on our communication and our relationship.

But the past couple days she has been worse than usual. We've gone back to university, which has a lot of triggers and pressures for her. And im not there on the weekends, which is really hard for her. This past weekend she got angry with me for leaving (even though she knows about it and i have to do it every week for my treatment), then apologized because she says she wants the best for me and knows i need to keep seeing my old therapist. This happens a lot, where she will say something is fine in the moment and then bring it up the next time she is upset. Then when people were going out this weekend she drank (even though it has a bad reaction with her meds) and she lashed out at a lot of people and ended up driving under the influence - luckily nobody got hurt but it was terrifying for everyone.

she is trying to self destruct. shes trying to ruin all her relationships with people she cares about and shes trying to take away all the opportunities she has earned for herself. I know i can only be there to show her that i love her always, but I have to put my foot down when she is endangering other peoples lives.

I don't know I guess I just want advice or an opinion from somebody with BPD - i have full faith in her. I know she will get better because she has shown she can. I just want our partnership to be healthy, and i know that cant happen until she doesnt want to destroy herself. but I cant make that happen, that's gonna take a while. i dont know. guess im just nervous.

any thoughts about anything on bpd and relationships would be really appreciated, thanks so much
(i know theres a forum for family and friends but it didnt seem that active and also because i have a mental illness im not just looking for support from people who don't understand and are trying to understand what its like to have a mental illness)