how to let go of shame

its immense. flooding my thoughts. feel ashamed over past mistakes. no pity. just shame. like want to put a plunger in my head n unclog all the shame thoughts.

If people knew everything I did I would really have to feel shame. You know all you have impulsively done but most have no clue. Just you.

Yes I feel shame. Then I think...nobody knows I did that or thought that or only a few seen me do that. So then I stop feeling so shameful.

I’m reading a book called Healing the Shame That Binds You by John Bradshaw. I don’t agree 100% on 100% of what he writes, but pretty close. I believe there is hope. Good luck in your journey.

Make an accounting sheet. The things you did versus the reasons why you did them. No one acts badly 'just because'. There are reasons. Whether anyone else knows or understands them, there are reasons for your behavior.

I trully believe that anyone drowning will try to save themself first, even at the expense of other people. That's the normal, human thing to do.

In Room 101, everyone betrays themselves and the ones they love (their integrity, everything good about them, their most deeply held beliefs) in the face of that much pain. It's just that other people don't normally experience that much pain. It's not that they are stronger than you, it's simply that they are never put to the test.

Most people (excepting heroes) have a breaking point.

It's okay to have a 'breaking point'. All that mean is that you hit a certain point on your pain scale that you couldn't handle. No matter if other people would have done the same in similar circumstances. What you experience as a 9/10 on the pain scale, another person might experience as a 2 or 3. That doesn't make your pain any less real, or intense. It doesn't make them better/stronger than you. If subjected to the same pain as you are now experiencing, they would break, as you are now breaking.

We are all falliable. Know that, and be at peace.

yeah we all have reasons for our behavior. my main reason of shame is the fact that people know of it. the reason i had the breakdown was my friend came to know of my sex addiction. that was the shame.

he said its ok but i was not. i didnt want to be weak before him. i agree its my hypocrisy or my ego that made me feel ashamed.

it maybe because well my mom is a very ill woman. she would get ill often n we would have to look after her. this sort of gave me a superiority complex that i'm some sort of hero.

so when i broke down before my friends/colleagues i felt ashamed. that the facade has broken.

my friends said its ok but there were some taunts.

i wish it all had not happened and that the illusion of 'perfection' had been not an illusion but a reality.

i'm dependent of what people think of me. i crave moral superriority, validation, appreciation, pity n i dont know how to change this thought process.