BDP and Medication - Does anything actually help?

Hello,

Some background - I was diagnosed with autoimmune encephalitis in April 2017 and was recently treated with intravenous steroids. The treatment did improve some of my symptoms such as rage, violent outbursts, and intensive crying episodes. My anxiety is also reduced. The feeling that was there before and stayed though is loneliness. I feel extreme emotional pain that is easily triggered by seeing a family have dinner in a restaurant, hearing someone talk about their cousins, a facebook photo of someone with their child. I don't have any of that - no family dinners, no children, no nephews, no cousins in this country. This causes me severe emotional pain. Sometimes it can be paralyzing. I could be at work, feeling OK and just doing my job, then I overhear a conversation of two coworkers and someone mentions seeing family on the weekend. I then get an intense feeling, sort of like grief (that is what a psychologist told me whom I used to see). I feel tearful and even physical pain in my chest. I can't continue to work, I can't do anything, I just want to stop exiting because the pain is so strong.

I have already tried tons of medications which did not help at all - Abilify, Cipralex, Mirtazapine, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Olanzapine, Trazadone, Cymbalta, Pristiq, Sertraline, Latuda, etc.

I was now prescribed Lithium by a psychiatrist but my family doctor is not sure whether I can take it because of my autoimmune disease.

Has anyone experiences such emotional pain and did anything help you? Any medication?

Thanks

I was on geodon and escitalopram. The former worked ok, the latter not so much. So I changed to prozac, which is just fine. Now I am changing to abilfy, because it is better for borderlines than geodon. I also get some quetiapine for sleeping and xanax due to panic attacks. Prozac is very good. Should do the job. And you don't put weight on it.