BPD: disappearing act. please help me understand.

My boyfriend disappears on me every so often and I don't understand why. Everything seems to be going by fine and he'll hug me goodbye, kiss me and tell me that he'll see me again which I do end up seeing him. It's very hard for me to leave his side because I live far away from him and only can visit him when he has time off since he works a lot. We have a long distance relationship and he has told me that he loves me very much but I can tell he's scared deep down.

It just seems as if there's a pattern, each time I leave his house and return back to mine, he'll disappear on me. I live 3 hours away from his house and I keep reassuring him that I love him, miss him and that I'm faithful... but he's paranoid that I'll end up cheating on him or leave him for somebody else.

After awhile he'll contact me again and end up apologizing to me and said, "I'm sorry I haven't messaged you in awhile, I just sometimes get weird like that."

Can somebody please explain to me why he does this? I'm confused by this behavior. I just want to understand. Thank you.

Hi, I can't speak for your boyfriend because he might have a different rationale.

I usually 'disappear' when I feel like my friendship/relationship with the person is causing harm to both me and the other party. This harm could possibly be imagined idk. I tend to overthink people's intention sometimes. But if I feel like I'm being a burden or I'm always spoiling the mood I will start avoiding spending time with the person because I'm afraid that this person will start to hate me. Its logical to me to leave before that happens.

When my friends told me I'm a ticking time bomb and they'll leave me alone when I get angsty, it affected me so much because they just reaffirm the 'logic' in my head. I kind of threw a tantrum or sulk or whatever it was and I felt like I just ruined the day and then I started feeling guilty for wasting their time. Since it wasn't a first this happened when we went out, I swore I won't meet them again before they ever get a chance to shirk me.