reaching out (NPD BPD relationship)

first of all (fair warning) ive got NPD seeking help and advice about my xgf who is has BPD
I've copied and pasted the following form my original post in the NPD section. Any help is appreciated.

I know this may be a silly place to post but I'm having a hard time and I could use some advice or reassurance. I guess this post would be targeted to people that have hope in recovery.

So ive been up for like 3 days and the the past 2 weeks I haven't been sleeping much. It's been great I feel like I've been doing some real work in recovery but here is the problem.

I ran into this website http://gettinbetter.com/dance.html
which describes in detail the ###$ up relationship "dance" between NPDS and BPDs
the whole thing pretty much hits really hard because of how much I relate to it.

So I guess right now I'm feeling the role that i need to help this person outside of me, my ex, by kind of helping her at least get some awareness and give her some resources that I have to kind of help her get ouf of feeling like $#%^. I know she wants to get better, she has motivation to not feel so #######5 any more she is raising a kid and I know the thought of making sure her kid is ok would fuel her recovery if she is able to

get awareness
avoid the pitfalls of online narratives painting b clusters as demons.
and get support

im just so wrapped up into fantasizing about helping her right now and I know its BS because its taking away from my own kind of inner self-esteem building and work I've been doing. Its frustrating because there is this restraining order in place and its truly ironic that for the first time I could really help this girl, something Ive been wanting to do for a long long time.

I'm heartbroken. I feel like I'm a very expressive and detailed email away from helping this girl (I know this girl I know how to reach her and kind of breach her defences) but also a step away from

a) jail for violating a restraining order (not cool, ###$ jail)
b) getting sucked back into my old ways with her with the pretense of helping her but ultimatley starving myself of my own needs and sense of self.

so i just feel so split because I feel like I can finally do a little bit that might provide real meaningful progress and health to this girl but I can't because this ######6 restraining order.

if youre wondering about the restraining order, not that it matters, but it was nothing really bad especially when put into the context of the abuse we've suffered at each others hands. anyway thanks for listening I apologize if any of this is unclear I'm quite tired.

I could also reach out to her friend, but I'm just concerned about her initial kind of awareness and I really really want to be a stable support for her. I'm just afraid that I'll lose myself(what little self i've gained latley) again trying to help her.

Thanks for reading

If she has a restraining order, I would not contact her. Plain and simple. Its not worth your freedom and no amount of abuse by her hands justifies abuse by yours. You are both in the wrong. She needs to do this on her own.