what is the difference between quiet bpd. and avpd?

i do not know if is better to post this here or in avpd forum.
can you help me understand if there is a difference? and how are they different ?between avpd and quiet bpd.
also if someone is diagnosed both avpd/bpd how is this possible,because they are disorders that look opposite on outside behavior.how can you be both.is it the same with quiet bpd?
(usually i can find everything in google,is strange that i can not find anything at all about this like it doesn’t exist)

For me, like I wrote in another thread, it was always having 2 conflicting extremes inside me. Needing love and attention, but also so afraid of being rejected, judged and criticized.

So it was always a tug of war inside me between needs and fears.

So I would wear a mask with people, be appeasing and be what everyone wanted me to be.

But, because of those fears of rejection I'd more often withdraw to avoid those painful feelings.

Does that make sense? The need for love and attention was almost always there, but I'd often either withdraw outright, or just wear a mask with people. Very rarely was I ever "myself" with people, though.

But you can be borderline and avoidant. I'm not the only one here who has that diagnosis. Perhaps they'll chime in and give a better answer than I can. But about quiet bpd, I've never heard of that before, so I can't answer on that.

I wish I could give a more detailed answer, but I'm too tired ATM.

I will say though, not all borderlines are extroverts like you read about. Is that what you mean by a quiet bpd? An introvert?

thank you for answering ♥♥♥

it does make sense because i do the same. and it feels like is normal. is just because i am introverted i think.
what i do not understand is why you are not just avoidant then but they diagnosed you with bpd too.
i know is difficult to explain,or a difficult question in general.

i want/love attention but i hate attention at the same time. but it feels like everyone feels like this.i mean nons feel it. i do not try to be invalidating,but to show my confusion.

I will say though, not all borderlines are extroverts like you read about. Is that what you mean by a quiet bpd? An introvert?

yes the other confusion is because they describe borderlines as extroverted and clingy. but reading more i find opposite examples

I'm a mixed bag, so I can only speak from my own experience. But I think it comes down to which is the dominant disorder if you have multiple diagnosis.

I think Avpd is my core disorder though I think both diagnosis are valid in my case.

These are just my thoughts. As far as I know avoidants are terrified of rejection so they avoid pretty much any types of situations where they can be rejected, including non-romantic relationships. It seems kind of like social phobia, although I may be wrong about this. I personally have been diagnosed with social phobia throughout my life. I think a quiet borderline would definitely have some of the avoidant's characteristics, as well as BPD symptoms.

I consider myself a quiet borderline as I don't really act out as much as I used to. I don't totally avoid relationships though. I might not be able to get intensely involved without getting deeply affected by someone, so I try to be aware of that. If I am able to handle myself more, then I go for it. I'm still very emotional and extremely sensitive to any sign of rejection though.

I don't think an avoidant personality stays away for the same emotions that a borderline does. They might not have black and white thinking, or the extreme emotions of a borderline. They might just be very afraid/cautious of people for some other reason. Could be any other insecurity.

thank you for answering!^^
i often read here about avoidants that are married and borderlines that avoid relationships.
that confuses me too.

i don't think an avoidant personality stays away for the same emotions that a borderline does.

what emotions?
you mean the one is abandonment and the other rejection? is difficult to find the difference sometimes when i try.
what confuses me is that i want to avoid people too but it feels like introversion and not anxiety.
i enjoy being with people but there is something that makes me want to avoid them that is not clear to me. more like i feel alone when i am with them.
i can not see if is just depression, or introversion or fear of rejection or fear of abandonment. but is not anxiety.maybe is not pd.

julllia wrote:thank you for answering!^^
i often read here about avoidants that are married and borderlines that avoid relationships.
that confuses me too.

i don't think an avoidant personality stays away for the same emotions that a borderline does.

what emotions?
you mean the one is abandonment and the other rejection? is difficult to find the difference sometimes when i try.
what confuses me is that i want to avoid people too but it feels like introversion and not anxiety.
i enjoy being with people but there is something that makes me want to avoid them that is not clear to me. more like i feel alone when i am with them.
i can not see if is just depression, or introversion or fear of rejection or fear of abandonment. but is not anxiety.maybe is not pd.

I sometimes don't understand why they have so many mental disorders with lots of overlapping symptoms. From what I know people can avoid situations because they are afraid of appearing foolish in front of people.

I used to suffer from panic disorder with agoraphobia as a teen, and being in busy places freaked me out. I had lots of social anxiety being around people too. Agoraphobia is avoidance of being stuck in a situation which is difficult to escape from so I'd even refuse to go to school, and would panic every single morning. It was anxiety that was causing my problems though.

Borderlines might fear rejection because they know that they might devalue a relationship and ruin it, so they might be hesitant about going through that again. They might feel afraid of being rejected for having a rage attack with someone who's never seen them so angry before. Someone who suffers from avoidant personality disorder might feel inadequate because they think they're not cool, or smart, pretty, etc.

If your temperament is more introverted and you genuinely enjoy spending time alone or with just a few people, then that's just the way you are, I think. It is hard to accept being introverted and lots of people mistake it as meaning you're shy, depressed, lonely, etc. I have a lot of fun sometimes doing stuff by myself.

It all depends on how it's making you feel.

what if you think you are likeable superficially,you can be likeable but you can’t be loved