Am I insane

When I talk to people I have intrusive thoughts of spitting in people's faces or sometimes I think of slapping them , I try to calm myself down but I can't so I accept it. I'm bored ALL the time so I'm constantly trying to find ways to keep myself entertained. Of course I fail miserably. I'm also addicted to codeine based painkillers which help me relax but they also make me feel like crap. My life is a mess

I can't comment about the spitting thing but it doesn't sound like good thoughts to have! What causes them thoughts? Something must trigger them? Get help with the painkiller addiction, I suffer with addiction too, you're not alone. P.s to your question are you insane? Define sane

I'm not sure what causes those thoughts but if I were to guess I'd say it's anxiety related , stress even perhaps. Maybe both. Whenever I use to go on holiday with my fiancé I would get really intrusive thoughts about stabbing her or anyone , who isn't really relevant , I would literally picture it very vividly. As you can imagine it was terrifying and I would spend the whole holiday in fear I'd end up in some prison in another country. I'm currently in a bad living situation but we're selling the house and moving out soon. I also have been told I need to train as a manager at my job , a job I hate but it's that or lose my job as well as my house. I'm under so much pressure

Itsdave86 wrote:I'm not sure what causes those thoughts but if I were to guess I'd say it's anxiety related , stress even perhaps. Maybe both. Whenever I use to go on holiday with my fiancé I would get really intrusive thoughts about stabbing her or anyone , who isn't really relevant , I would literally picture it very vividly. As you can imagine it was terrifying and I would spend the whole holiday in fear I'd end up in some prison in another country. I'm currently in a bad living situation but we're selling the house and moving out soon. I also have been told I need to train as a manager at my job , a job I hate but it's that or lose my job as well as my house. I'm under so much pressure

This sounds EXACTLY like "Pure OCD" - a kind of OCD which has someone think intrusive thoughts exactly like what you're describing. I've struggled a lot with this myself and also worried that one day I might accidentally do some of these horrific things that pop into my head.

Well I'm sure you won't act any of these thoughts out as I've never heard anyone do so , you'd have to have no conscience or sanity in order to do so. The fact that it worries just shows you have a conscience and you're not insane. However I'm under so much pressure that I couldn't care less if I did and I know that sounds completely mad but we're all mad , some are just better at hiding it.