You aren't BPD

I see an awful lot of people on the forum who seem to self label as being BPD. BPD as an identity.

My thoughts, for what they are worth is that everyone with BPD symptoms is different. We all meet some or all of the criteria in a complex and infinite numbers of ways. BPD is a man made diagnosis. It was created to help group, treat and understand a pattern of behaviour. BPD isn't something tangible. You can't have a bucket of BPD.

Rather than folk saying 'I'm a BPD' or whatever I think it'd be much better if we acknowledge that we exhibit our own BPD like symptoms.

I feel like self labelling really isn't helpful. It is maybe like removing all sense of self control or efficacy.

I'm on a coffee high so apologies if I'm talking nonsense

You are absolutely right, I can not remember where I did read this sentence but it is so valid and I think it also express an inner attitude: "I am not my dignosis!" I have Borderline Personally Disorder but I am not a Borderliner. Having this clear in my mind makes me to look forward, to accept that I have some kind of problems, but these problems are not fix.
One of the reasons why I did not like the BPD group that I visited a few times was because of this identy thing, maybe I exxagerate a bit, but for me it always sounded like we are Borderliners, we do this and we react to that, at least the way most of the people in this group expressed there-selves in a way, that made me feel this way. As if there is no process in one ones development pissible...

It makes a lot of sense. Thank you for bringing it up again, i often forget what that really means. People are not their illness, even if that illness influences who they are.

It is unreasonable to think that a person with a heart disease is not in any way influenced by that disease. But that person is still their own person.
It is the same with psychological or psychiatric ailments. Our illness makes us feel and think differently, it does not define who we are.

If you don't feel joy in life, for example, that is not you. I believe that every person has the capacity to be happy and to feel joy in the things they do and that this capacity to feel joy in life is the natural state of the human being. Depression can take that away. But that is not you. You are the person without the disease.

And like a heart disease a psychological or psychiatric disease can be managed.

Thank you! Haha. People saying "I'm BPD" is kinda a pet peeve of mine.

Preach!

Also, defining yourself by your mental illness is an easy way to excuse bad behavior. I'm not destined to F up or hurt people just because I have BPD. I hate the "I can't help it, I'm a borderline" mentality. I am grateful for my diagnosis and how it has helped me make sense of my thoughts and actions but it is just one aspect of me and that's important to remember.

Sorry, I couldn't resist. Well, I didn't really try too hard. ("Too hard" meaning "at all.")


I guess I'm a little unorthodox here in that I do refer to myself as "a Borderline." Once I started accepting the diagnosis, I realized that the symptoms were elements of my personality, of me. I equate it to saying I'm tall, or I'm white. It's not the entirety of who I am, but it is an element, and one with a major psychological impact at that.

Now, with all that said, I don't use it as a crutch. I don't go around saying "that's my BPD talking." No, at the end of the day, as I said, my BPD is part of ME, so whatever was said came out of MY mouth, not BPD's mouth. I take full responsibility for whatever I say or do, no matter how much I may cringe after doing it (and yes, there have been some episodes of dissociation, but thankfully, they're few and very far between, and I know what it takes to trigger it).

It can be argued that there is no 'me'. Our identity as our ego is merely a construct in our head. It doesn't actually exist.

We are what we are in the moment. The way we see ourselves won't be the way others see us. Lose a sense of identity and gain who you really are, in the moment, every changing as the result of our own thoughts and behaviours. Take ownership and leave the ego behind.

Perhaps.....

Merseamud wrote:I see an awful lot of people on the forum who seem to self label as being BPD. BPD as an identity.

Yeah, that's the self absorbed thing. Guilty.

My thoughts, for what they are worth is that everyone with BPD symptoms is different. We all meet some or all of the criteria in a complex and infinite numbers of ways. BPD is a man made diagnosis. It was created to help group, treat and understand a pattern of behaviour. BPD isn't something tangible. You can't have a bucket of BPD.

Agreed. BPD is a model to explain reality.

I feel like self labelling really isn't helpful. It is maybe like removing all sense of self control or efficacy.

Or giving people an excuse to obsess about themselves. Again, guilty.

Merseamud wrote:It can be argued that there is no 'me'. Our identity as our ego is merely a construct in our head. It doesn't actually exist.

We are what we are in the moment. The way we see ourselves won't be the way others see us. Lose a sense of identity and gain who you really are, in the moment, every changing as the result of our own thoughts and behaviours. Take ownership and leave the ego behind.

Perhaps.....

Like.

(Wishing there was a "like" feature).

-- Mon Jun 19, 2017 3:58 pm --

oceane wrote:Thank you! Haha. People saying "I'm BPD" is kinda a pet peeve of mine.

I'm kind of okay with that one, but it does annoy me when someone says they suffer from BPD.

Yep it's not all suffering. Some of it can be (selfish?) fun.

The ego seems on reflection to be a huge potential for problems with a BPD diagnosis. Being aware that it is only a construct in our mind, and being who we are in the moment might be a source of help.

I've wondered, if my sense of identity isn't real then who am I? I do exist of course. I have an appearance, I have ways of thinking and behaving, I have qualities good and bad. It's just that some of my more elaborate constructs are actually a nonsense.

For example: I see myself as lacking authenticity. I try to gain this by seeking validation from pretty much everyone. This very thread is an example. The reality is that it's in my mind, my sense of self. I can choose to ignore it.

-- Tue Jun 20, 2017 7:08 am --

Yep it's not all suffering. Some of it can be (selfish?) fun.

The ego seems on reflection to be a huge potential for problems with a BPD diagnosis. Being aware that it is only a construct in our mind, and being who we are in the moment might be a source of help.

I've wondered, if my sense of identity isn't real then who am I? I do exist of course. I have an appearance, I have ways of thinking and behaving, I have qualities good and bad. It's just that some of my more elaborate constructs are actually a nonsense.

For example: I see myself as lacking authenticity. I try to gain this by seeking validation from pretty much everyone. This very thread is an example. The reality is that it's in my mind, my sense of self. I can choose to ignore it.