Medication without paranoia

Hello, I'm struggling to maintain my 2 year relationship due to my desperation and the way I act during these episodes. I'm in counselling but struggling to make progress due to being pulled down in the relationship. I wondered if medication was prescription if you were not paranoid or have any physcotic affect's but still struggled with your bpd affects.

I am not sure if I understand?
You mean if we took antipsychotic although not psychotic but struggling with BPD symptoms?
Sorry, maybe because english is not my first language, I am not sure what you mean.
Did I understand it correctly?

Yes you did understand correctly I want to know if there are medications the help with the impulsiveness, desperation and shutting off.

I took anti-psychotics although I did not have psychosis, I took them to reduce my impulsiveness and against my self-harming behaviour. I tried alot of different ones, some where better than the others for me, but that depends from patient to patient, it is always a trial and error thing and sometimes it takes longer or shorter for someone to find the right one. One also have also to consider the side effects and need to find a balnce between risk and gain.
Somehow anti-psychotics helped me also with desperation, but for me just in a way that made me dump for alk my feelings. For the desperation stuff I took antidepressants, although my doc would not say I have a deep depression. But they were supportive. What do you mean with "shutting off"?

Medication helps, but it always comes with side effects. And not all of them are apparent at the beginning. And then it is hard to take away the meds again. They also cause the receptors in your brain to become accustomed to them after a time, so it becomes really hard to take them away.

If you can do so in any way, keep away from the meds.

Yes, it can be hard to get rid of them once you have taken them a longer time, also depends on the med. They have to be reduced slowly (and you should be under care of your physician). Also there are some kinds of neuroleptika which can lead to after-effects.
Everything needs to be closely monitored by your physician, especially when starting medication. As I have said before a cost-benifit analysis needs to be done. Ideally together with your physician, since sometimes ones own view on things can be clouded. But in the end you need to decide (except by medication in closed psychiatry ward).
It all depends on how strong your symtoms are which you need to fight against. For me there were times were it was absolutely neccessary to take them, because it was a matter of life or death and later the risk of a remission of symtoms. So the best thing is to ask your doctor, if you trust him and if he is fully aware of all your symtoms.
I for myself am happy to not take neuroleptics at the moment, not because I do not have symtoms which could maybe more easily be fight against with this sort of medication, but because at the moment I can also deal with my symtoms without them. I would not recommend to take them as long as it is not really necessary. But you really need to have a good feeling when this line is crossed and that is sometimes really difficult.