Projection inversed.

They say that BPD people see themselves in others.

I tend to do the opposite. I see others in myself. I get vibes from other people. For example, i feel the expectations of other people. Depending on how much i like them, i then either subconsciously conform to them 100% or go against them 100%.

The thing is that i am very often right with this. However it could also be a kind of double projection: Maybe i project my own expectations of myself onto others so that i think they expect these things from me.

Can anyone make sens of this? I am not really sure anymore. Or do you have similar experiences?

thejan wrote:They say that BPD people see themselves in others.

I tend to do the opposite. I see others in myself. I get vibes from other people. For example, i feel the expectations of other people. Depending on how much i like them, i then either subconsciously conform to them 100% or go against them 100%.

The thing is that i am very often right with this. However it could also be a kind of double projection: Maybe i project my own expectations of myself onto others so that i think they expect these things from me.

Can anyone make sens of this? I am not really sure anymore. Or do you have similar experiences?

I'm similar. I go along with what I think someone wants me to do if I want to make them happy. I have always felt very sensitive to vibes which made me really anxious. I felt like I was sensing more from other people than I was comfortable doing. I am having this problem with someone, because I don't want to do something she doesn't want me to do.

The thing is, I might be wrong about her because I've never really talked about this stuff with her. I could also be assuming things about her. Like you say, I might be projecting my own expectations of myself onto her. But my instincts tell me I am right.

So how do you know if you're wrong about your perceptions? Will communication help clear that up? Sometimes it has for me, if I was more willing to believe what other people were saying to me. Maybe I wanted to believe them. Or what if I think she's lying or denying it? I find it hard trusting people who I think are lying to me.

leiladream wrote:So how do you know if you're wrong about your perceptions? Will communication help clear that up? Sometimes it has for me, if I was more willing to believe what other people were saying to me. Maybe I wanted to believe them. Or what if I think she's lying or denying it? I find it hard trusting people who I think are lying to me.

personally I've learned time and again that my intuition is never wrong. the key is knowing the difference between your intuition, and your brain catastrophizing. I find the catastrophizing and other annoying things my brain does creates more of a heady, anxious, stimulated feeling, while my intuition is a gut feeling. I literally get that hard heavy stone feeling in the pit of my stomach when my intuition is telling me something I don't like. everyone is different though.