2 Borderlines, 1 relationship?

Courtier wrote:I have a feeling that this is going to be even more gross that 2-girls-1-cup

Intrigued. (?)
What is 2 girls 1 cup?

synchronicity wrote:What is 2 girls 1 cup?

Google it, I dare you

iate wrote:

synchronicity wrote:What is 2 girls 1 cup?

Google it, I dare you

Dare taken.
Going to google now.

I didn't make it 15 seconds.
There can NOT be people in the world who do that.

synchronicity wrote:There can NOT be people in the world who do that.

Sorry to disappoint you

I wanted to reply to this thread because I have BPD and just ended a 2 year relationship with someone with BPD.

as far as I'm concerned it all comes down to how much work both people are putting into themselves. I myself have gone through a lot of counselling, different therapies, skills groups, support groups, I've read a lot of books, and just constantly actively trying to improve my behaviours and reactions and the way I interact with the people in my life. my ex, on the other hand, has put very little effort into improving his reactions and behaviours. and it eventually took a huge toll on me.

I think if both people are working really hard to make sure they're treating each other well, and treating themselves well too, and they really want to be together, they can make it work. but if even one of the people involved just isn't willing to put in true, consistent effort, it's not likely to be a positive thing for anyone involved. if my ex had his $#%^ together enough to not constantly threaten to leave me at the drop of a hat, to not be emotionally abusive as well as borderline physically abusive when fights got really bad, not accuse me of all kinds of $#%^, not cheat on me, etc, the relationship would have been a much more positive experience for me. even couples counseling couldn't bring the love back. it's hard to continue to have loving feelings towards someone who treats you that badly.

Like others have said I think it can work if you put a lot of work into it and both worked on your behaviors. I have BPD and was with someone with BPD for about 8 months at the start everything was great and we could understand each other, but eventually we started to clash quite a lot and seemed to mimic each others behaviors (If one was feeling down, the other would start feeling down) and it started a lot of arguments in the end so we had to end it because i dont think it was fair on either one of us. But I think it could work with a lot of work.

Coolki126 wrote:Do you think 2 people who have BPD could be together in a romantic relationship? Even if both aren't on the best side of managing it?

Short answer is yes. I am currently seeing someone who appears to have BPD. It isn't easy. You will fight a lot about what you perceive as the other's imperfections. Especially, if one of you has trust issues.

Coolki126 wrote:Also, what do you think about me not seeing him as a bad person (because I have the same manipulative tendencies/temper)?

I think in the end you can't see him or yourself as a good or bad person. People are just themselves, and can make good or bad decisions, but the individual is not inherently one way or another. Behavior can changes. It would be in your best interest to go to therapy and encourage your significant other to do so as well. It will strengthen your relationship through strengthening your own self image.