Can't get over her, idealizing

So I recently posted about my ex girlfriend leaving me.

I am finding it hard to want to move on, I know I have to, but it's like I am stuck thinking what if she wants to get back with me, even though she said she can't be with me. We broke up 2 weeks ago and she said many different reasons why, but then she was like I have no feelings for you anymore, we had only been seeing each other for a few months, one week she was all over me, she said she misses me and couldn't wait to see me, then the next week she was like I don't know how I feel anymore, it was very sudden, can you lose feelings that quick?

Anyway she broke up with me, but she still keeps making a 4 hour journey to come see me, she has seen me twice the last 2 weeks, would you even travel that much to see someone you had no feelings for? I have a lot of unanswered questions. I know nobody can answer them for me, I just feel stuck and lost.

I always seem to always idealize people but can never devalue them, is this normal with bpd? Like I never get that split I am always stuck in the idealize phase ( I am waiting for therapy)

I don't know if its best to just see what happens or just cut her out as hard as it will be so I can get over her, but its that not knowing if she still likes me.

I don't know what advice im looking for I just need somewhere to vent how I feel. I love her and don't want to move on, even though I know you have to at times I just find it so hard to let go..

aww i wish i could never get over someone who could never get over me .
i have notice some people is impossible to get over but others i stop wanting them too easy.
and i wonder what makes that difference?
also i do not know why is that a bpd thing and not something everyone does.

julllia wrote:aww i wish i could never get over someone who could never get over me .
i have notice some people is impossible to get over but others i stop wanting them too easy.
and i wonder what makes that difference?
also i do not know why is that a bpd thing and not something everyone does.

I am not sure what makes that difference, I never seem to stop wanting people though for ages until they move on or until they block all contact with me, it still takes me ages to get over them. I never seem to devalue which I know can be common in bpd, a few of my friends have bpd and they can block their emotions for people or will split and not show much emotion, but I feel like I don't fit that part of the diagnosis and don't know if people have had the same experience where they just idealize the person continuously