She goes cold

So, I knew a girl with borderline for around 1 year, we were pretty good friends most of the time, sometimes on and off, the like/dislike cycle. So yesterday we had for the first time hard make out, she was also very loving, caring and so on. We set-up an appointment for today and suddenly she texts me that she had "overthought thinks, and she wouldn't come". I tried to ask, what's the problem, but she goes cold. I got no text reply.

What's going on with her? Just another one of her love/hate cycles?
Is she manipulating me, trying to push some buttons?

@mods delete this thread. I don't give a fck anymore

could be destroying a good thing in advance as one tends to do.

could just be feeling cold today.

may be her way of getting more attention (beg me to hang out. adore me).

who knows.

ideally wrote:could be destroying a good thing in advance as one tends to do.

could just be feeling cold today.

may be her way of getting more attention (beg me to hang out. adore me).

who knows.

I checked her house, she Isn't home. So she's clearly not sitting at home because of bad mood or something.

But you're right, who knows. As far as I know she comesback, cause she does everytime, lol.

Mr_Mogwai wrote:checked her house, she Isn't home. So she's clearly not sitting at home because of bad mood or something.

But you're right, who knows. As far as I know she comesback, cause she does everytime, lol.

i was in a horrible mood and i went to work today. i am even going to dinner. no point in missing a nice meal.

also, stalk much?

Gentleman, please come with me. Time to go home. Take my hands, c'mon.

Sorry, miss.

We don't know. We've never met her.

She did say she overthought things. Maybe she's having second thoughts and/or regretting the make out session. Maybe she wants a romantic relationship, but is terrified it will turn out badly. Maybe she's afraid of ruining the friendship. Maybe she doesn't know how she feels about you. Maybe the making out was impulsive and she generally doesn't think of you that way. Maybe she's picking up on something that's warning her away. Maybe she wants to step back so she can figure things out. Maybe she overthought herself into a panic and needs time to come down. Maybe she stayed up all night thinking and is having a nap.

On another note, if you like this person, how come you asked if she was manipulating you, but didn't ask about something more likely like having second thoughts? Do you struggle with paranoia (no judgement. I do too) or do you really think that badly of her?
It's only been a day and you already don't give a f*** anymore? That seems to be jumping the gun quite a bit. Even I give my friends more of a chance than that and I have a reputation for cutting people out for things like lying.
She told you she wasn't going to hang out today. Why did you go to her house?

Baldanders wrote:We don't know. We've never met her.


On another note, if you like this person, how come you asked if she was manipulating you, but didn't ask about something more likely like having second thoughts? Do you struggle with paranoia (no judgement. I do too) or do you really think that badly of her?

Maybe, but she's also very manipulative.

Baldanders wrote:It's only been a day and you already don't give a f*** anymore? That seems to be jumping the gun quite a bit. Even I give my friends more of a chance than that and I have a reputation for cutting people out for things like lying.

I told you she acts in cycles. I don't think normal people who care can handle the devaluation.

Baldanders wrote:She told you she wasn't going to hang out today. Why did you go to her house?

Many reasons. I wanted to check if she feels bad, wanted to talk to her about things, just a little bit. Also wanted to see if she is hanging out with her ex. Now that I saw she isn't at home chances are 50/50 that she is on drugs with her ex.

Mr_Mogwai wrote:So, I knew a girl with borderline for around 1 year, we were pretty good friends most of the time, sometimes on and off, the like/dislike cycle. So yesterday we had for the first time hard make out, she was also very loving, caring and so on. We set-up an appointment for today and suddenly she texts me that she had "overthought thinks, and she wouldn't come". I tried to ask, what's the problem, but she goes cold. I got no text reply.

What's going on with her? Just another one of her love/hate cycles?
Is she manipulating me, trying to push some buttons?

I don't know this person, so hypothetically...it looks you're getting blown off. If you've known her for a year..and you hooked up yesterday ...maybe she assumes you're readily available...on her timeline. JMO

could be the case. I was planning to mirror her behaviour and see what happens next.