Possible diagnosis, new therapist....

Hi there,

I'm new here, so I'll introduce myself a little first...
I'm a female, 20. My last therapist said she's pretty certain I have BPD. And I went through a phase of rejecting, not understanding, then accepting, and now I guess I'm just not sure. Objectively, I meet all 9 of the criteria....but that doesn't necessarily mean I have it? So my question is, do I bring this up to my next therapist, who I begin seeing next week? Or do I let her draw her own conclusions?

And if I do go the route if letting her draw her own conclusions, do I guess I should just make sure to be open about all my symptoms...

Hiya and welcome

This is entirely my own opinion. You don't say what therapy you are having or in what country etc. I'm a qualified counsellor/therapist although I haven't practiced for a while. As a part of my training I've received many hours of therapy. I've also had many hours to help me deal with my 'stuff'. I've practiced for many hundreds of hours too, mainly drugs and alcohol clients.

To be honest, the therapy hasn't helped me at all. Yes I've now got a huge amount of self awareness but my thinking, feeling and behaving is still out of kilter.

My theory is that BPD is often/usually deep rooted in childhood and that generally there is no cure as the neurological pathways and brain development is set in place. But don't despair, I do think that it can be managed and a diagnosis can help with that in my opinion.

So I would recommend seeking specific medical help with a possible BPD diagnosis. Therapy might be of little use if it is trying to cure your issues as opposed to helping you manage them?

Many therapists are anti psychiatry and Personality Disorders in my experience and there is a good reason for that. In it's place therapy is better than going straight to just medication for many patients. But there comes a time in my personal experience when I needed to say 'okay I'm broken' and therapy isn't going to help un break me.

As I've said this is just an opinion based on my personal journey. I'm 62.

FallingPetals wrote:I'm a female, 20. My last therapist said she's pretty certain I have BPD. And I went through a phase of rejecting, not understanding, then accepting, and now I guess I'm just not sure. Objectively, I meet all 9 of the criteria....but that doesn't necessarily mean I have it?

If you show the list of BPD symptoms to almost anyone - they will probably say "oh, yes, that's me" to all of them. Because you see, everyone is sometimes reckless, everyone is sometimes impulsive. But PD is not the same as "I sometimes do that".
But, on the other hand - when I was diagnosed I wasn't aware how deeply disturbed my thinking and behaviour patterns were. It's way more easy to recognize extreme traits (idk, suicide thoughts, paranoia, depression) that the whole pattern that rules your life. Personality is, in a nutshell, everything you are. If you have PD - you probably have been functioning like this all your life. It's quite difficult to realize that so many things that amount to being you, are, in some way, pathological.

FallingPetals wrote:So my question is, do I bring this up to my next therapist, who I begin seeing next week? Or do I let her draw her own conclusions?

If I was you, I'd let her do it herself. It's always better to have two independent opinions. Plus - you avoid the risk of being accused of making up the diagnosis.

Thank you both for your replies. I did read them last weekend before my appointment and kept them in mind--just didn't feel up to stringing together words for a reply yet (nothing would quite connect, you know?).

Merseamud-- Thank you for relaying your experience. I'm not giving up on therapy, because despite the issues I've had with it, I've gotten to know a lot about myself as well. And I also know that even though I'm always a mess, I've been significantly more so since terminating sessions (I also had a tendency to call my therapist between sessions in crisis mode...). But anyway, that's another story--kinda the point is that I've gotten to know myself somewhat well enough to know that, while I don't expect therapy to "un-break me," I do know that having that support system is an important factor for me--otherwise I explode inside my own head (which I do enough of anyway).

However, I'm not ignoring the medical side. I actually saw the doctor this week as well--a new one, from the same clinic. I decided to be completely open with her. She put me on two new meds--one for mood, one for sleep--in addition to my current anti-depressant (which hasn't done a thing so far). So we'll see how that goes...

iate- I get what you're saying completely. As I mentioned to Merseamud, I'm by no means new to this and didn't really see any patterns until months and months of my therapist pointing these things out to me. And I'm certainly not an "Oh, that's me sometimes." It's repeated, and very, very damaging to a lot of points in my life. As I said, though, I'm still not convinced that that's what's going on...I mean, it's all VERY confusing.

I took your advice and didn't tell the new therapist about the dx. I also didn't tell the new doc, although I was very open about what I experience (for the first time ever with a doc....I actually felt comfortable with this lady).

All I know is I need help. Too many things are going too far out of control...

Thanks again

EDIT: I just noticed my original post says I'm 20...I meant to say 20s. Not that it makes much difference, I guess, but it was bothering me haha