What's Is wrong with me

First of all I haven't got bpd at least I don't think I have I know I have attachment disorder I didn't know what to post this in so I just posting it in bpd forum anyway I think my personality might split I don't have DID because I remember things but basically I am really nice and kind and thoughtful one minute then the next I am evil dark aggressive sarcastic bitter physically aggressive but I will only get aggressive if o feel rejected and sometimes when I'm angry I have anger outbursts and other times I just stare and blank out almost I go numb don't feel anything my childhood was pretty rough I was in and out of care since I was 10 months old I got adopted at 6 and then my adoptive father died I always had had a worry people were going to leave me then my adoptive father died and I went crazy man like apeshit started taking knifes to school beating people up and stealing and bullying and just being a little @@@@@@@ I always thought my adoptive mother would leave me I controlled her and was quite abusive to her I went into care again at 14 and I just lost it for a bit extreme temper tantrums crying my EYes out when feeling rejected genuinely just being a baby anyway that was just a bit of info on my life but now I am like a split personality tbh any insight on what could be wrong ????xx

Your symptoms pretty much mirror mine with the switching and zoning out except I didn't get into crime or at least I wasn't caught. I was brought up with a very strong sense of right and wrong so have a lot of guilt too.

I feel for you mate. As you say this attachment stuff is likely creating your distress.

Have you been to your GP? Have a look through the criteria for the various Disorders?

Your anxiety is that of a child and is of course not mature and is misplaced. Learning to understand this, which you seem to do, may be a way of gently challenging your thoughts, feelings and behaviours.

All the very best.