I don't know what's wrong

I'm putting this under bpd because I'm guessing this has something to do with that. I...
Give up really easily, don't really love but gets attached to people who like me, am afraid of love, try to be liked by everyone but tells myself that I need to be an eccentric, want something to be wrong, am always prepared and expecting the worst, am really self conscious but seems super confident and spill all my secrets to everyone and then tells myself that I'll never do it again and does it again, thinks about being really skinny while eating but still is shoving my face full of food, get really angry and I imagine hurting people, sometimes dissociate, tells myself to get better but is always stuck to something I want wrong, changes my mind quickly, persists on doing bad things that hurt other people regardless of whether I've been doing good or am going to be punished for it, etc etc. I don't know what's wroooonnngggg

Hey,

Now that you're able to see these issues as issues, lets try to find practical solutions for them.

You "give up easily", in what? Everything? Are you afraid of commitment? Maybe you should build motivation to drive you for the things you do. Methods of doing so vary, but what I do is I try to think about the end goal, and that helps me stay consistent in whatever I'm doing, and drives me.

You "don't love but get attached to people who like me". Why is this? Is there an underlying fear? Such as the fear of them leaving you, and so you attach yourself to them in hopes of them not leaving you? Do you need them for some unconscious misconception you have? Like maybe you have this idea without thinking it, that the more friends you have the better, and so you need them at all costs. Is it because they like you? Sometimes if you don't like yourself, anyone who likes you is put into a position of power over you. Is this the case?

You are "always prepared and expecting the worst". I think this is great, not a problem at all. This way you are prepared for the worst, even if it doesn't happen. Would you rather be oblivious? Maybe don't be so pessimistic as to go crazy through the speculations. But if you're prepared for the worst, you will be safe for life!

You are "really self conscious but seems super confident". Now this is great, being confident is great, but if you're doing this to the point where you're afraid to be yourself, I guess its not as great anymore. Try to figure out who you are like this towards, then ask yourself "Am I trying to maintain some image towards this person?" I think that once you see why you're doing this, like every other problem, you should set a practical solution to be done. Like "I will be myself around xyz, and not act like someone who I'm not.

You tell people your secrets, but don't want to, but do, again and again. Because you need to. Try to find a trustful person though, not people you meet that you get attached to quickly or anything like that. Try your mom or dad, I know they're lame but they will never expose you or f*** you over the way someone at school might.

You want to be lean but cannot stop eating. Well guess what, you don't need to. I know. What the f*** is this guy on. No really, if you eat the right stuff you don't need to stop eating. All you need to do in terms of diet for losing weight is just eat less calories. So before you eat anything, figure out how many calories it has. And then you just don't go over the total amount of calories calculated for you to lose weight. I don't know what your weight is or if you do any physical activity but, if you google authoritynutrition, they have a calculator that accounts for these things.

"persists on doing bad things that hurt other people regardless of whether I've been doing good or am going to be punished for it" I think that this is a sort of vengeance. That since something bad has happened to you, you will do something bad back, even to someone who hasn't wronged you. For this you should figure out what has wronged you and how, and then heal yourself from that pain, instead of hurting people for it.

Sorry that this response is kinda sloppy I was tired when I made it.

Regards,

Somethingelse

Hello hope this helps...

I'm putting this under bpd because I'm guessing this has something to do with that. I...
Give up really easily

i think everyone think about giving up at some point. most people dont just hold on to that thought.
also at times its ok to give up, cut your losses, rather than try to save a lost cause.
at times its good to commit while at times its better to call it quits.

don't really love but gets attached to people who like me, am afraid of love, try to be liked by everyone

i do this a lot. i want people to like me. seek validation from others. i guess this is because i dont have a strong family/friends.

but tells myself that I need to be an eccentric, want something to be wrong, am always prepared and expecting the worst

with me, i want stuff to go wrong so i get pity. like i want to play the victim card.

, am really self conscious but seems super confident and spill all my secrets to everyone and then tells myself that I'll never do it again and does it again

i used to do this too. i now have 3 online friends with whom i talk. i do have urges to confess to others and come clean but i just chat with online friends.

, thinks about being really skinny while eating but still is shoving my face full of food, get really angry and I imagine hurting people

is there some reason you are angry? i was always angry at my family n would output the anger on others. is there some hidden reason for your rage?

changes my mind quickly

maybe find something in which you are consistent. it neednt be a big thing. with me i've grown plants and i like watering them. at times even that bores me but its okay. its a small task but i'm relatively more consistent with it compared to other life decisions like friends, career.

also i shave my face regularly now. so i am consistent there as well. and i trim my nails regularly. if one area of ur life has some problem, try to be solve some other area of your life. maybe it helps us psychologically to do better.

, persists on doing bad things that hurt other people regardless of whether I've been doing good or am going to be punished for it, etc etc. I don't know what's wroooonnngggg

even i've had thoughts on hurting others. but recently i realized revenge doesnt get us anywhere. we live our own lives and with those whom we love.

Thanks you guys:D

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