Karma

julllia wrote:i sadly see karma in the self sabotaging part of the disorder. the bad news i self sabotage too.
the good news i do not need to obsess with revenge for someone who has aspd for example or npd (with denial)because the ironic joke is karma. they will self sabotage, fail(have a miserable life with hate) and they are not even able to see their stupidity to fix it. knowing that is kind of pleasure the same like revenge gives you

Thank you. I'm pre diagnosis and I'm also over 60. A lot of the time I read comments on the forum and think my issues aren't reflected in what others post about. Your comments resonate with me though. I'm trying to practice 'Metta meditation' which is 'loving kindness' or loving friendship meditation. It's tough. My distorted paranoid fantasies and judgements, hate and victim laden revenge and resentments keep getting in the way. I am however aware

I don't believe in Karma and i hate people who do.

I think it is disgusting to think a person must be a bad person because they have bad luck or are treated badly by others. Sadly that is how most people think. Something bad happens to them - they must be a bad person or must deserve it. Then when something good happens to people that obviously means they have earned it. Who can choose what kind of parents you have? If Karma were true, all people who were abused by their parents would be horrible people and that is why they were abused by their parent.

That adds insult to injury.

thejan wrote:I don't believe in Karma and i hate people who do.

I think it is disgusting to think a person must be a bad person because they have bad luck or are treated badly by others. Sadly that is how most people think. Something bad happens to them - they must be a bad person or must deserve it. Then when something good happens to people that obviously means they have earned it. Who can choose what kind of parents you have? If Karma were true, all people who were abused by their parents would be horrible people and that is why they were abused by their parent.

That adds insult to injury.

I often (almost always) believe if something bad does happen to me that it is a punishment for something I have done wrong. Yet I do not believe that a person is "bad" because they have bad luck or are treated badly by others. I think that often depends on the circumstances.

I sometimes question if my fears of punishment and karma are not religious based. I had a family member when younger who always talked to me of God and Jesus, the need to be a "good" girl, repentant, forgiveness, and giving my life over and allowing him to be my way/guide. This was never said with wrong intent it was always out of love but then when bad things would happen I blamed myself. I still to this day struggle with that though not as much. I can accept blame but I also think I know when to blame another.

I use to ask my youth minister why God would allow bad things to happen. Obviously it was asked from a child's perspective of the world. I don't think I ever did receive what one would consider an answer. It was always more scripture and about having to have faith.

I was talking to someone and we were discussing religion and what makes one person more worthy than another. I question so many things now that I never did before. What makes one child more deserving of a better life than another child. I was told that it depends on what you consider a better life. This person knows someone who does missionary work in a very poor country and that person had discussed with them how happy these people are even though they have nothing but each other. I found this interesting because it isn't the first time I have heard something similar. I have a friend who recently returned from Nepal and she said much the same of the people she met there.

But such a topic could go in so many different directions.

My thoughts are all over the place.

I hope somewhat there is no such thing as karma because the fear of it and punishment often keep me from taking a stand for myself even when I feel as if I should. But I struggle so much with knowing what thoughts are distorted compared to which aren't.

There's a lot of misunderstanding about Karma here. Genuine loving kindness isn't dependant on someone being pretty, nice to you etc. Karma isn't luck.

I've spent much of my life shouting and screaming at people, driving them away and then blaming them for deserting me. I suffer because of that. It's not rocket science. If you treat people well, even those who despise you, you will benefit in many ways.

I'm not saying it's easy or even possible but please don't diss Karma ut doing a little research into what is actually is. Then diss away

Merseamud wrote:There's a lot of misunderstanding about Karma here. Genuine loving kindness isn't dependant on someone being pretty, nice to you etc. Karma isn't luck.

I've spent much of my life shouting and screaming at people, driving them away and then blaming them for deserting me. I suffer because of that. It's not rocket science. If you treat people well, even those who despise you, you will benefit in many ways.

I'm not saying it's easy or even possible but please don't diss Karma ut doing a little research into what is actually is. Then diss away

I'm just in a situation where I don't know if I should just walk away from it or give back what was given. I'm just fighting against myself because I have to be somebody I'm not but he thinks I am everything that I'm not anyway, has talked sh@t about me, and already judged me guilty of being that person, so I have decided f@ck it I'm going to be that person.

He doesn't care about who he has hurt so why should anyone care about him. I don't know if I am right or wrong but it is what it is.

-- Tue May 02, 2017 1:02 pm --

PS: Thanks for the replies.

I strongly believe in karma. I believe karma isn't just how you treat others with your actions it's the energy and thoughts you puts out too. I believe that your karma only effects you in your next life

illumination wrote:Actually lets make it a 2 part question.

If you were involved in a relationship with someone who was aware of being disordered and that person constantly said you were a person that you know you are not and have never been what would be your reaction to that?

Would it make you want to be the person that the person is saying you are because they have already judged you as guilty even if you're not ... even if you never have been. If they have already judged unfairly as a person overall. Why not just be that person then.

I've reacted to people in the past, by becoming the person they accused me of being. My husband's always accusing me of nastiness so I try to do things to help me feel better about myself. I need good vibes wherever I can get them

From my experience, people will dump their bad feelings onto someone else if they can, and I think having BPD might make me more vulnerable to receiving it. Most of the people that have dumped stuff on me aren't aware they're disordered though. With my mom, who I believe might have a cluster B personality disorder, I just had to back off and let her suffer her consequences of her actions. I hate seeing her go through stuff though, but she is not harming me as much as she used to.

I am guessing someone genuinely being aware of their condition has more of a reason to be more mindful, but maybe difficulty taking responsibility might be part of the illness? I don't know. If someone is dumping on me I try to get away from them and just leave them alone in their own #######4.

thejan wrote:I don't believe in Karma and i hate people who do.

I think it is disgusting to think a person must be a bad person because they have bad luck or are treated badly by others. Sadly that is how most people think. Something bad happens to them - they must be a bad person or must deserve it. Then when something good happens to people that obviously means they have earned it. Who can choose what kind of parents you have? If Karma were true, all people who were abused by their parents would be horrible people and that is why they were abused by their parent.

That adds insult to injury.

Yes. This. Thank you.
In my experience, you can be as nice and compliant as possible and people will still treat you like crap. And then when you try to get help and/or support, other people will tell you that you must have done something to deserve it.

karma has happened to me. in college i said a few bad things to someone and years later in my workplace a colleauge said those same things to me. this happened twice.

so i remembered the times i said those words to people and thought how much they can hurt.

but i dont believe there is some higher power keeping track of karma. karma is mostly logic.
like if you be a good friend, there's a good chance that person may also be a good friend. if you're a horrible friend, then the other person will definitely not help you.

it's like if a taxi driver is rude and treats passengers like crap. it could be that one passenger might be a gangster/mafia/cop who may give it back to the driver threefold. then the driver could regret not being kind.

i think karma is more logic than universal. its like if a deer will mess with a lion, the lion will hunt it down.