Struggling with recent BPD/EUPD diagnosis

I was wondering if there is anyone like me out there also diagnosed with BPD? No offence but I can't relate to most BPD criteria/symptoms so I have been struggling to understand how/why I was diagnosed with BPD. I also have many other disorders which interact and overlap, which could be confusing things or my Psych. I have PTSD, MDD with psychotic features and ADHD as well as TBIs ( traumatic brain injuries).

1) I don't fear abandonment. In fact, I am the abandoner as I cannot trust anyone totally due to childhood trauma.

2) I have a strong sense of identity as to who I am.

3) I dont think I feel emotions more intensely than normal folks and I don't overreact or get angry easily. Nor do I attach to people quickly.

4) I do feel dead inside and empty when I am severely depressed. My depressive episodes usually last 2-3yrs and are unremitting. No highs or good moments. From what I have been told about BPD, deoressive episodes rarely last longer than a few hours or a day and there are bright spots....not me.

5) I do have great difficulty with relationships and making friends...again that is trust issues....so I don't have stormy intense relationships but ones where I am largely indifferent and emotionally distant.

6) I have behaved recklessly in the past but it's not a usual pattern of behaviour for me. I am that way when I am actively S but haven't made a plan. I simply have a complete disregard for my safety or life.

7) I have never abused drugs or alcohol. I was around that growing up so have a strong aversion to it.

I do hallucinate during stressful times or if I've forgotten my meds but only when I am severely depressed. I also get very paranoid..but not paranoid about people leaving me or what they think more paranoid about Big Brother type stuff.

9) I do attach importance to/focus inappropriately on relatively minor things but always thought that was my ADHD hyper focus kicking in where I get so completely entrapped in something, I can't stop thinking about it or working/doing it.

Sorry for the book. I just am struggling with the diagnosis and wondering if maybe the Psych was wrong? He has been seeing me for almost a year now. What do you all think? Can you relate to any if this and if so, is it BPD related or not? Thanks in advance for any feedback.

Has he done any official test on you to confirm you have BDP, like the Millon inventory or the MMPI?

the first one was one of my first enlightnment moments lol of awarenes.let me expain.i am not diagnosed but
when i first read about bpd i suddenly became aware that i fear abandonment,until then i couldn’t see it.i had a narcissistic more attitude of denial where i believed i do not care and i leave others.and all of a sudden when i became aware i felt the fear and it made sense.
i thought bpd was the one who do anything to keep others from leaving them from the descriptions but if you notice more carefully all of them push others away finally. so in a way they abandon others and all pds do to others what happened to them.
sorry for my ramblimg but i could just say that you abandon others means there is a subconcsious reason under it if is self destructive.when you say you do not trust what are you afraid they will do to you? if you search deeper the feelings with introspection.

also what is your identity? i am having problems understanding what lack of identity means

TheBrit wrote:Has he done any official test on you to confirm you have BDP, like the Millon inventory or the MMPI?

I don't know about Millon, but MMPI is not really a good tool. At least for diagnosing BPD.

I figured that. When I say Millon inventory, I'm talking specifically about the MCMI, particularly its latest version, the MCMI-IV. If you want me to PM you a link, I'll be happy to do so (though I'm not sure if there's some rule against that).