please help me decide

jhp wrote:I had an old colleague who used to say, make your decision, and rest in it..

i read a similar comment on internet. it's not about right or wrong decision. we have to make our decisions right.

but the pros and cons make it tiring. i mean at times we marry someone n then end realize we make a mistake n so we divorce.

it's so confusing. i was crying in germany not sure what to do.

Hi Jaus.

I have known of you on here for many years now and have read many of your posts. Its good to hear you have a job opportunity on Monday, but in all fairness you didn't exactly give Germany a chance. Change is scary and it is a normal reaction for there to be anxiety. That though is not a reason to just pick up and go back to what you are comfortable with. There is a HUGE world beyond the boxes we often put ourselves in. I can tell you from experience now that world is worth experiencing. You will find so much of who you are when you begin to step out and away from that box. It's okay if its scary. It's okay if you cry. I personally was scared of my boxes and often cried because I felt so trapped within them. They are still there. I can still return them but it has been so empowering and liberating to walk away that I don't think I will be returning to them.

You can be afraid but don't let that prevent you from trying new things. How will you ever know if you don't try it? Isn't the knowing better than the not knowing? You cant run from yourself, because as they say, wherever you go there you are, but sometimes change presents itself because perhaps, just maybe, its time to make a change.

Don't waste your life always trying to make the "right" decision. What may be right today Jaus may not be what is right tomorrow. Its okay to make mistakes. Let me say that again. Its OKAY to MAKE mistakes. You don't always have to be right. Sometimes the greatest adventures are in making the WRONG decisions and sometimes the greatest lessons are to be learned in what you thought was the RIGHT decisions. The point is you will never know which it is going to be. There are no guarantees in anything.

When making decisions it is important that you think of yourself and how it is going to affect those that are involved in whatever decision you make. You can't always please others or do what may be best for THEM, but I do believe people can be mindful of the damage that may be inflicted on another from decisions made and act accordingly to lessen that damage.

Always do all the good you can but don't forget to be good to yourself.

Best to you Jaus and good luck.

Thanks Illumination for this.

The last straw that made me decide to quit Germany was I didn't want to spend 2 years in anxiety over there. I knew I wouldn't be able to focus. Yeah I didn't give Germany a fair chance. I got freaked out.

I still know that if I again go there, I'll end up freaking out. I didn't want to waste 2 years in more anxiety. I have applied to another job in another city. I hope that works out.

Right now I'm nervous about tomorrow's interview.

Hi,
I asked the german univeristy for any options and they said i can join next semester in september.

but i know i will again get anxious. its just too much to study. with all the thoughts already occupying my mind i cannot spare any thoughts / focus towards studies.

How did your job interview go?

I think you should seriously consider giving Germany a chance. The anxiety may lessen with the more comfortable you become in being there. Sometimes change is exactly what is needed if for no other reason than to learn more about who YOU are.

The job interviews went bad. I went for 2 and didn't get a second call. I am applying to quite a lot. Am hoping something comes out soon.

jaus tail wrote:The job interviews went bad. I went for 2 and didn't get a second call. I am applying to quite a lot. Am hoping something comes out soon.

Sorry to hear that jaus. Eventually something will come through.

Thanks.

Listen to me jaus never ever am I wrong go to Germany when you can.

big Anatoly wrote:Listen to me jaus never ever am I wrong go to Germany when you can.

but then i feel guilty for my mom. yeah she's a crazy woman and living with her is hell but in germany i was having flashbacks of some good memories and i felt guilty. i wouldnt be able to study in that case.

she is driving me crazy at home as well, but i wont be able to focus away. n i know if i go she'll drive me crazy by calling n doing emotional blackmail.

maybe i am using her as an excuse to stall my life and put the blame on her.