BPD has made me so lonely

I am 20 years old and recently diagnosed with BPD although I've known this was what I had for a couple of years.

When I was 16 I unknowingly ditched my best friend for a group of new drug taking friends and we had an amazing time. I was outgoing and popular things I hadn't been before as I had moved schools numerous times due to thinking students or pupils didn't like me,fall outs with friends or just didn't have any friends at all so life was good. One time I ended up taking MDMA for 3 days thinking people were trying to kill me and had a massive fight with my closest 'drug' friend and was hallucinating and raging. Anyway that was at around 18. After that I became massivley paranoid and stayed home for a couple of months before agreeing to take Sertraline (Zoloft) I had a boyfriend at the time who wanted me to stay in doors a lot so my increased vulnerability wasn't helped by his need to keep me close. This meant I was stubborn and cut everyone off. Plus they were bad influences. I have no friends and my family trigger me. I am so lonely. I don't know how to get into the world I'm not part of it.

Has anyone else experienced similar to this becoming a recluse basically and somehow got back into life. I can't cope in normal situations so I don't go.

Sweetie it sounds like you are going to need to change how you see the world. Everyone can't be bad. Try going to church and not just going but joining a couple of ministries. Then, slowly join other organizations that cater to your interest. The idea is that you slowly rejoin society by coming around good people.

We weren't meant to be alone. If you stay cooped up inside, you won't be happy. You will also need a therapist. A therapist will help you stay on track with your goals. The therapist will also help you to see that not all people are bad.

Well what do you like to do? There are courses you can take at night to learn a new hobby or groups that do things at the library or how about meeting other BPD people by doing DBT skills training? Sounds like your life has kept you home too much and you need to find things to get you back out there. You can get a part time job and that is what I did at your age to get me out doing something different and meeting new people. I also started taking night courses so I could figure out what career I wanted. I ended up going from social work to correctional work to law clerk classes.

It seems once high school is over, it is really hard to meet new friends. And if you are trying to stay sober/drug-free, then it is even harder because it seems that age group revolves their social life around it. You will meet new people and start a social life again once you join something.