BPD- I Need to Be In-Love

Gee thanks Graveflower - thanks for helping us poor borderlines out - so nice of you!

I did not understand; sorry.

Yes I also suffer from addiction to love and feel quite lost without it, but the times when I was not in a relationship were the times I had the most peace in my life. Even now, I am married but I feel horrible if my husband is not sweet with me.

I understand, Leiladream

here's a question
the new generation of anti depressants are love in a pill
will that doe the job or not?
could you do with just het chemical reaction or you do you need the interpersonal conctact 2 (+suppy + sex etc)
is love than the real need?

Madjoe you raise an interesting question.

I have some thoughts but I'm wary of sharing them as I don't want to come across as insensitive or ignorant. I realise that as a "Non" I can be taken the wrong way and do not wish to cause offence.

I would not take offense...

I raised a post a while back which puts my thoughts out there but not sure how to link to it.

Basically my thoughts are that there is no such thing as a normal brain. We all have differences and those differences give us traits. It is shown that there are physical differences in the brains of those that suffer from BPD. One difference is the insula is shown to be hyper active. The insula is the part of the brain which deals with negative emotions so if it is hyperactive then that person could be seen as overly sensitive. This is something that I have witnessed with both my uBPD exs and have read a lot on various sites including this one. So if BPD is due to a physical difference in the brain then the way the brain functions will be different.

I think these differences mean that the way certain hormones act has an increased affect for pwBPD.

Hence when madjoe wrote about a chemical solution I think there is something to it. The problem is hormones fluctuate so you would have trouble balancing them.

I witnessed what I would call self balancing behaviours by my uBPD exs. They both did things that where almost the text book list of how to lower cortisol (the stress hormone). Neither had looked into it but did it naturally as it made them feel better. Another was the calm after a storm. After a major rage my exgf would become almost serene as if she had opened a pressure relief valve. This contradicts the cortisol lowering behaviour as arguments increase it. Another was post sex. It was as if she had just smoked a joint. Sort of spaced out. Sex releases oxytocin. All of these behaviours either increased or lowered hormones and I think it was more to do with balancing than needing a particular one.

Other hormone related things where, pregnancy, menstrual cycle and oral contraception. With the increase in oestrogen there came an increase in rage and abusive behaviour.

With love there are a number of hormones at work. Serotonin, oxytocin, dopamine, vasopressin, adrenaline. All feel good hormones. Maybe the love seeking is seeking one of those.

A major problem though is how these hormones affect each other. low testosterone can lead to an increase in oestrogen as testosterone is a precursor for progesterone which decreases oestrogen. Cortisol can affect thyroid, thyroid can affect white blood cell production which can lead to anaemia. The list goes on but my hope is one day they will fully understand the interactions and be able to affectively balance them to alleviate the issues caused. I'm not saying this would be a cure but it could possibly help like taking iron supplements isn't a cure for anaemia but alleviates the problems caused. This is just a theory pieced together from various articles, studies, papers, my own experience and what I have read from sites like this.

Yes, this is very interesting and I've heard of things like this, too.