its my birthday n i am unhappy

i cant get over the past. n i want to die.

trigger warning: sex details

i cant get over what could've been if i werent abused. the fact that i seeked out to get abused again n again. yuck. n the gay encounters. i feel disgusted at the person that i had become.

i dont know how to get over it. just sit at home all day

You CAN get over the past, and you most certainly don't want to die, not yet anyway.

You sought to get abused because you were trying to regain what you lost.

It's easy, start by taking the smallest step forward.

Happy birthday Jaus, my friend.

The above poster is right. No one is too broken to be healed in time. Start to think of small things you can do to improve your life. Find a job, take up a new hobby and make some friends, move out of home. I'm sure there are others.

i feel ashamed. like any passing guy on the street owns me. thats why i stay inside house all day.

Happy birthday darling. You'll be okay, there's nothing shameful about you.

thanks.

Happy birthday! I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling too great.

thanks.

Hey happy birthday Jaus ..big hugs

jaus! see yourself as a strong guy.That is how I see you. You have made enormous changes and I am so proud of who you are today...
p.s. seek other associates (you can find them).