BPD and losing friendships

Is it a BPD thing to not have many close friends and lose friends because after an argument or something triggering you start to dislike them? I don't regret cutting these people out of my life. I just feel like some people are friendly to everyone and I can't do that because I get so easily angered. Is this a problem that I need DBT for? I would probably like to have more friends but it's more important that I'm not friends with hypocrites so this is not something I am guilty about. I have a DBT therapist who always tries to challenge my perceptions on these people though and dig up the past but it feels like it's doing more harm than good.

So... Firstly, i have one question. How long is it since you cut off your friends from your life?

Because the 'typical' BPD might feel guilty or in need of (the same or other) friends after doing such a thing, regardless of how they have been treated. This BPD criterion might just not fit you.

And yeah, it's common for BPD patients not to have many friends. They need someone to trust, they might hate fake people who seem the nicest to be around.

The BPD trait your therapist might want to work on is the white-and-black thinking. One argument can completely change the way you perceive somebody, as if they are only good or only bad. It just depends on to what extend hypocrisy annoys you. For example, I hate it (up to the point I slapped someone for that) when I see others smiling while they have serious trouble going on, but pretend to be fine. This is more or less a type of hipocrisy.

Sorry if my answer wasn't relevant to your question. Hope you will find the answer you're looking for.

I get it. Its easier to cut them than give them the chance to keep hurting you. I don't think its always such a bad thing, but personally I try to take a step back from the situation and work out what are facts and what's just my bpd before making the final decision.

Well you seem to be talking about splitting people black. And of course that happens with BPD and might as well end some relationships.

In my case I don't think I've ever cut a friend off. Sure I did block out some people, but none I considered friends or something close to that. For me it's quite the other way around. They cutting me off.

I do the exact same thing. I cut them out before they can hurt me any further.

I actually get some relief from cutting people out of my life. It's too much work dealing with people. I know my perceptions are distorted but it's easier trying to find a way to live with myself than it is trying to live with having annoying people around. I know I end up hurting myself, but I actually enjoy the peace and quiet sometimes.

People always come around.

I understand what you are saying. I do the same sorta thing to as a defense mechanism. You cannot hurt me any further if I cut you off early on.

I suppose it could be called splitting black. I value my ethics and principles above my relationships and people see this as an inherent defect in me, because I should have a more agreeable personality. I can't force myself to have regrets I don't have though.

After a lot of introspection I think I cut them off when I feel abandoned.so basically I cut them of but they abandoned me. They do not care that much.

About friends and not relationships this. One time I cut them off because I had serious personal problems but I think most people wouldn't care that much to search you or insist looking for you.so they do not care. Other times I left when I saw they stopped caring as much as they used to. I admit though I might have been more cruel younger. Into moving on and leaving.i did some kind of cruel moving on but now I think maybe I thought they would leave me. But I just did what I was used to other people would have done the same to me.

The last person for example I told her what bothers me .She told me she loves me and we are not in competition who sends more.and we never talk again after that still for months. ...

I have no friends anymore. I had to cut everyone out of my life because I make myself a doormat. I do so much for people, whether they ask or not, and I end up bending over backwards physically, mentally, emotionally, and with my time and money. I have this powerful need to fulfill the needs of everyone around me. I need the people around me to be happy or I get anxious and scared. It got so bad that not only was I suffering, but my daughters were going without as well, going without me, mostly, I am physically and mentally disabled and did so much for others I had nothing left for my girls, no energy, time, patience, etc.

I have made a few "good" friends over the years, but I am just not a good friend anymore. I don't return phone calls, don't even get online regularly. When I am manic, I will call my friend, answer e-mails, chat with facebook friends, etc. Then I crash, and for a month or two I basically cut contact with everyone. It's just so exhausting dealing with people, and I have to save what little strength I have for my kids.

I guess it's better that I have no friends, now I focus everything I have towards my girls. I don't date, go out, or anything. I have individual DBT therapy once a week and I go to a DBT skills group once a week. I enjoy hanging out with the others in my group before and after group, but that's about all I can handle.

I do get lonely, my kids are 14 and 20 and have their own lives. I recently got a companion animal though, a dog named Sophie. I have a tendency toward Agoraphobia and anti-social behavior, so having a dog that needs to be walked every couple hours helps me fight my fears and get out of the house. I live in an apartment complex that doesn't allow pets (except if your doctor says you need it) the entire neighborhood know Sophie by name, and it encourages me to get out and talk to other adults.

Anyway, sorry for the long post, I am obviously manic this evening, lol.