Newly Diagnosed

Hi,

I have been diagnosed with BPD about 5 weeks ago now and am just starting to get my head around it. I just wondered how other people felt? I feel like I have lost part of me!!

Hi, I self-diagnosed myself back in May. I'd found a description of someone saying what it's like to have BPD and thought it sounded like me. I knew a lot of things I did and felt weren't 'normal' but I lack the worst of the symptoms, hence no one ever picked up on the fact there was an underlying condition.

I actually felt relieved to learn that there was a reason for my behaviour as it meant it wasn't really my fault, plus I know now exactly what I can do to stop myself doing the things I'd been blaming myself for.

The only thing I was really shocked and a bit upset by was the realisation that my changes in mood aren't like those of most of the population. I figure everyone else could see it but me all along so I've been acting over the top about things and I'm worried what people think about that.

But overall I'm relieved to know what's wrong so I can start to change the things I do that are really bothering me. Plus I can kind of get high on music and sunshine so I've found a plus side to the condition for me at least!

Discovering and learning about it, which was only shortly before I registered for this site, was enlightening. I realize, now, that my spells of spiteful and vindictive thoughts usually accompanied by agitation may have a well-known and defined cause.

But it doesn't really alleviate it at all. As is the case with any mental disorder, awareness isn't enough, and in this case does little more than nothing, unfortunately. I sympathize, it's a bitter thing to carry.

Hello, caught. I was diagnosed with BPD about a month ago during a hospitalization for what I thought was just a really bad episode of my Bipolar (which I was diagnosed with 10 years ago and has a high prevalence in my family).

I knew there were symptoms I was experiencing that didn't quite fit into what was "usual" for Bipolar and I had fought with my old psych for a re-eval but he did nothing. It took moving to another state to figure out that I had co-occurring BPD.

I was actually quite relieved about getting the diagnosis as I knew I had a starting place to look for answers. The hospital gave me a copy of a book called "Sometimes I Act Crazy" and the in-depth look at BPD but in a wayvthat those who suffer from it can understand it has been invaluable to me. I highly recommend it to anyone who is newly diagnosed.

I meet with a psych for the first time since leaving the hospital on Monday and I am looking forward to discussing where I go from here. Please let me know if you would like to talk more about how you feel about your diagnosis. I don't feel it should be something to make you feel worse. (((Hug)))

I was relieved to find out what was wrong with me to be honest. The label was a little funny as I'd never heard of it but after they explained it to me it all fit into place.

KatherineMelissaD wrote:Hi,

I have been diagnosed with BPD about 5 weeks ago now and am just starting to get my head around it. I just wondered how other people felt? I feel like I have lost part of me!!

Katherine, that's perfectly normal for those who weren't expecting any diagnosis. One of the big issues for people with BPD (even before we know we have BPD) is our identity. For a long time, you had yourself all figured out and then some doctor came in and told you that the identity you thought you had isn't even the same sport, let alone in the ballpark. To say it's a shock to the system is a bit of an understatement. As the late Phil Hartman once put it, "s*****g a sailboat is a shock, this is a f*****g catastrophe!"

It's going to take some time to adapt, I won't lie to you. You know the seven stages of grief? There's a good chance you'll go through that; a lot of people do. I know I did. I'll tell you something now, though you probably won't accept it until further down the road - who you are, hasn't changed. You're still the same you that you always were. It may not feel like it now, but it's true.

The only difference between then and now is that someone put a name to your collection of symptoms, so when you go to a doctor's or a therapist's office and ask for help and they ask what you think the problem is, you can say, "It's not what I think the problem is. Dr. So-and-so says I have BPD...". You'll be amazed at how much red tape that seems to cut through!