Please someone help me. My mom really doesn't understand

I think the need for validation is a large part of bpd itself. Because you're right, I plan this out, I make sure to convince and it often makes me feel like my problems themselves are delusional, but isn't that what BPD is??? The pain is killing me. I was diagnosed with ADHD recently which explains my uncontrolled impulses that contradict who I really am. Stealing lying manipulating... I always hated myself for it and I'm afraid I'm giving in to whatever makes me a bad person on the outside. I behave like a lazy sociopath but my heart is grieving in shame and guilt (I hope it's guilt and not just shame, I feel empathic but I question it as a delusion). Ugh am I a bad person? Seriously actions speak louder than words and when all you do is deceive and hurt, I can hardly blame people for the way they look at me. But I still hate them for it. I hate all of them so much. Even my mother who I think I love? I don't even know. ###$ ###$ ###$ this contradiction in my mind has haunted me since birth. Multi personality? I don't even know. My body aches from the consistent adrenaline. I hate it so much I just want it to stop so much but it doesn't.

Sounds like your mom is being invalidating, and possibly another user on this forum (I can't see the posts anymore because of mod edit). I know it sucks, but maybe it helps to remind yourself that you are not in actual danger, even though you are feeling triggered? That you are very much alive and healthy, and don't need these people's validation to know what you are feeling is REAL. It's easier said than done, but it can be a start. You definitely need a less hostile environment though, and online forums can be notorious for being awful.

Honestly most of my reaction was due to my previous forum experience being an MMO player. Some well known guy making the entire forum hate you, that's why I freaked out. I didn't understand the nature of the forum and he was the first reply to my first post ever so ya.

-- Tue Nov 08, 2016 1:33 pm --

And honestly no. My natural assumptions and sensitivity to invalidating criticism may never be purged. Not by myself at least.

-- Tue Nov 08, 2016 1:36 pm --

And just so you know, me and said user talked and are getting along fine

And just so you know, me and said user talked and are getting along fine

This is a very important thing to acknowledge, thanks for that comment

Sometimes triggers can come from no where (we all seen that) but we have to acknowledge each others issues, we are all here for a reason...

Anyway ..just wanted to say ..nice comment to make

I recently was diagnosed with BPD, and am in a marriage that has been having a lot of problems over the years. As I combed through my life with this new information, I also found that my mother was EXTREMELY invalidating, and she also would pretend like nothing was wrong, everything was fine, no reason to feel this or that. Everyone feels this way. Or "you can't be hungry, you just ate". My father died when I was 9 and she just went on as normal - no counseling or anything for anyone. This definitely is a piece of my BPD puzzle. What a horrible choice to make..

Anyways, this past weekend I sat down with my husband and his parents to talk about my diagnosis and my husband and his father both were invalidating me left and right - oh, everyone went through that in high school, oh I already know you were sexually abused as a child, etc etc etc. It turned into a pointing fingers fight where I laid out a detailed list of all the wrongs my husband committed against me in the past 10 years, and how they made me feel and why my BPD made me feel that way. It wasn't what I wanted or planned to do, but their invalidation and reactions caused me to explode. I felt horrible afterwards, but the lack of impulse control is one of my biggest problems. I am fortunate to have a therapist who really understands me and my situation. I suggest you get yourself some professional guidance so you can move towards a happier and healthier life!

Thanks ech, I do try to mediate after Im irrational. Now that I understand the nature of the forum ill have no problem ignoring such things. And Newt, I appreciate your share. Hopefully we will all find some level of peace.

Stakeland wrote:Thanks ech, I do try to mediate after Im irrational. Now that I understand the nature of the forum ill have no problem ignoring such things. And Newt, I appreciate your share. Hopefully we will all find some level of peace.

Anytime
Its hard to ignore sometimes because OP need to be heard too and that can clash sometimes

OP?

Stakeland wrote:OP?

- Other people
- Other posters