Feeling lost

So confused. I'm in a relationship with an abusive partner who was diagnosed with MBPD but I also had a diagnosis of BPD many years ago. I saw a psychologist who said that I no longer fit the criteria but I have developed monophobia since meeting my partner 5 years ago. So exhausted. Help

Do you have a mammal pet, like a cat or dog? I have found that having a dog makes a significant difference in multiple ways.

Dogs can be "there" for you on a very basic level (not as complex as human bonding, but still the basics) and don't demand very much (food, water, monthly parasite medication, cuddling and play/exercise time, but not the sort of complex or intense emotional demands of a human being).

Studies have also shown that both dog owners and the dogs themselves release oxytocin (a feel-good bonding hormone) when cuddling or petting and playing together, which can be good for your mental health. Most humans need this from each other, but again studies have shown that you can get this from a pet, as well.

Dogs can also be grounding for some people who have dissociation problems, such as triggered from a fear like being alone. There have been more times than I can count already when my dog has sort of 'brought me back' simply by approaching me wanting to play or have his ears scratched.

Also for some people (which has been the case with me), having a pet that you love (if you are capable of that sort of feeling) can bring out a new level of determination and courage. Some people with severe low self-esteem and difficulty caring for themselves for that reason, might experience a boost in protective motivation when it comes to their pet.

Many breeds of dog can also help somewhat with alleviating hypervigilance anxieties, because dogs themselves are instinctively vigilant about their territory. If any intruder so much as steps onto your lawn, your dog's highly advanced hearing will detect it, and chances are the dog will make sure you know about it, too. Dogs also tend to take cues from their owners, and will learn what you consider threatening and then alert you to specifics based on your example. For example, my dog completely ignores animals that wander into the yard, but aggressively confronts the mail man through the window every day, because my dog knows I don't like people in the yard, while I give no signals of caring about other animals. Because of all this, you can usually rely on your dog as a reality check for paranoia. If your dog is chill, then there is nothing to worry about.