Share your "funny" BPD moments

hI all,
I wanted to start a happy thread, and i thought it would give us a break from our other stuff, so here goes my funny story with rage central...

One day my ex asked me if i would bake his favorite oaty flapjacks for work as he liked them in the coffee break...ofc i said yes, so i mixed the ingredient and put them in the oven...20mins later i took them out and put them on the side to cool ..i told him "dont touch them for about 30mins as they need to cool before you cut them... yeah yeah like thats going to work right ...

I went away to do something and come back to check they had cooled so i could cut them into little bars, and he had tried to cut them himself while still hot and broken into pieces ..i flipped my lid and screamed at him then SLAPPED my hand on the whole tray, said a few ###$ and $#%^ and walked away ...he was in shock

After i calmed down, i giggled and said "i told you they need to cool down" he replied yeah i know but you didnt say they will break lmao

he now calls them my slapjacks
he said recently "i miss your slapjacks you know ...gave me a giggle. was a nice memory

Share your funny moments that have made you giggle "after" raging?

Several years ago was with a guy who very selfish and passive-aggressive when it came to anything sex-related. So like he didn't like foreplay, didn't put in any effort, but he would imply he was interested in sex, so I would do all the work to get us BOTH aroused, and then he would be like, "Hey actually I just want a blowjob." Stuff like that.

So healthy thing would have been to just recognize the relationship was awful, break things off and move, right? Well of course no, I stayed with this guy for nearly 3 years, with lots of fighting and whatnot.

Well one day he tells me he has a surprise for me, something to spice things up in the bedroom, and that he thinks I will really like it. So my heart leaps, I think he's finally going to affectionate in the bedroom, maybe he got a vibe, some flavored lube to use on me for going down, anything along those lines.

So he shows me the surprise. It's a fleshlight. For me to use on him. That is my surprise, for something for me, in the bedroom.

Well as part of the rage I flew into, I grabbed the fleshlight and threw it out the window. Well we were on the second floor and it was a side window, so it flew into the neighbor's yard, and they had a fenced-in yard, so it's not like later I could go and sneak it out of their yard. So presumably at some point this elderly couple who lived next door found a fleshlight in the middle of their lawn, even though they had a tall, locked gate.

I must admit I wonder what they thought of that when they discovered it.

mostlyghostly wrote:Several years ago was with a guy who very selfish and passive-aggressive when it came to anything sex-related. So like he didn't like foreplay, didn't put in any effort, but he would imply he was interested in sex, so I would do all the work to get us BOTH aroused, and then he would be like, "Hey actually I just want a blowjob." Stuff like that.

So healthy thing would have been to just recognize the relationship was awful, break things off and move, right? Well of course no, I stayed with this guy for nearly 3 years, with lots of fighting and whatnot.

Well one day he tells me he has a surprise for me, something to spice things up in the bedroom, and that he thinks I will really like it. So my heart leaps, I think he's finally going to affectionate in the bedroom, maybe he got a vibe, some flavored lube to use on me for going down, anything along those lines.

So he shows me the surprise. It's a fleshlight. For me to use on him. That is my surprise, for something for me, in the bedroom.

Well as part of the rage I flew into, I grabbed the fleshlight and threw it out the window. Well we were on the second floor and it was a side window, so it flew into the neighbor's yard, and they had a fenced-in yard, so it's not like later I could go and sneak it out of their yard. So presumably at some point this elderly couple who lived next door found a fleshlight in the middle of their lawn, even though they had a tall, locked gate.

I must admit I wonder what they thought of that when they discovered it.

OMG i was there right with ya ...dam i bet you couldnt believe it ..a ######6 fleshlight, what ######6 pleasure would you have got ...(i shouldnt giggle) as i had an Asexual ex and its dam frustrating when you have no idea until your sexually deprived, wow that tops my bad sexual experience (we just didnt have any) were yours actually thought this was a special "surprise for you"

i do giggle about the horror of the neighbors down stairs though
"hey Albert, i found a water poof torch, i wonder if it still works" ??
Nelly's shock when her grandson tells here its a sex toy for men

Nice one Mostly

Omg the fleshlight, and the slapjacks!! Utter brilliance!

I must have loads of funny BPD-related stories but my mind is mostly drawing a blank right now...

All I can think of is that I was mad at my husband about an issue with his family, but was trying to ignore my feelings at the time and just get on with things...anyway a series of small annoyances occurred throughout the rest of the day, and I decided to flip out at the smallest of small things...It was a hot day and we had a fan running, but it was making a louder noise than normal, so he decided to hit it (not that hard I might add, but the fan rocked a little when he did so) to see if it would make a difference. I started shouting about how I'd just painted the wall it was next to when I was SOOOO ill with morning sickness and it nearly KILLED me painting that room in the BLISTERING heat (blah blah blah), and if it'd knocked against the wall and marked it (it hadn't and I could see that), I'd be really, REALLY angry and he'd have to paint it himself. And then I pointed out that hitting inanimate objects doesn't fix them, and it's a typical, dumb alpha-male thing to do. I repeated that particular sentence a lot as he tried to reason with me and apologised etc. Then later on that day we were driving somewhere and the car radio signal was coming in and out. So I whacked it automatically to "fix" it. Oh how he laughed at me for my hypocrisy..! And remembering how dramatic I was about my experiences painting the room in the first place makes me laugh, on top of that...

Bi-Polar Bear wrote:Omg the fleshlight, and the slapjacks!! Utter brilliance!

I must have loads of funny BPD-related stories but my mind is mostly drawing a blank right now...

All I can think of is that I was mad at my husband about an issue with his family, but was trying to ignore my feelings at the time and just get on with things...anyway a series of small annoyances occurred throughout the rest of the day, and I decided to flip out at the smallest of small things...It was a hot day and we had a fan running, but it was making a louder noise than normal, so he decided to hit it (not that hard I might add, but the fan rocked a little when he did so) to see if it would make a difference. I started shouting about how I'd just painted the wall it was next to when I was SOOOO ill with morning sickness and it nearly KILLED me painting that room in the BLISTERING heat (blah blah blah), and if it'd knocked against the wall and marked it (it hadn't and I could see that), I'd be really, REALLY angry and he'd have to paint it himself. And then I pointed out that hitting inanimate objects doesn't fix them, and it's a typical, dumb alpha-male thing to do. I repeated that particular sentence a lot as he tried to reason with me and apologised etc. Then later on that day we were driving somewhere and the car radio signal was coming in and out. So I whacked it automatically to "fix" it. Oh how he laughed at me for my hypocrisy..! And remembering how dramatic I was about my experiences painting the room in the first place makes me laugh, on top of that...

Hahaha double standards ..classic Bi-Polar Bear
that made me giggle...i also have smack something to fix it and shout when someone else does it haha what are we like ...

thanks for sharing

I accused a boss of trying to force me to work off the clock and buy supplies with my own money.

Threatened to call a lawyer.

Yikes.

Not terribly good at telling stories.

pleasnpetrichor wrote:I accused a boss of trying to force me to work off the clock and buy supplies with my own money.

Threatened to call a lawyer.

Yikes.

Not terribly good at telling stories.

Hey thats not a problem pleasnpetrichor, did you find it funny "after" though thats the question
its more of a "elevation" to it more than a story really ..like i said that, he said this and i was like NO ######6 way your not using my money lol ...

something like that

Hey thats not a problem pleasnpetrichor, did you find it funny "after" though thats the question

Some days yes, some days no.

But the aftermath truly is funny:

It was a new job that I had been desperate for at the time (since I quit so many). That being the case, I had applied for the job knowing that it was 1.5 hours away from where I lived. Only I didn't want to tell them that at the interview because I knew they would be unlikely to hire me. So I gave them a fake local address.

I worked there for like 2 months and feeling guilty about the lie I did tell my boss I had applied with a fake address. He laughed it off, but he must have forgot.

After my drama, they basically told me they didn't want me working there anymore. (I wasn't exactly fired, but...) I stopped showing up, and the company sent my last check to the fake address. The guy living there called them up and told them he never heard of me.

The company then sent me an email saying, basically, WTF?

pleasnpetrichor wrote:Some days yes, some days no.

But the aftermath truly is funny:

It was a new job that I had been desperate for at the time (since I quit so many). That being the case, I had applied for the job knowing that it was 1.5 hours away from where I lived. Only I didn't want to tell them that at the interview because I knew they would be unlikely to hire me. So I gave them a fake local address.

I worked there for like 2 months and feeling guilty about the lie I did tell my boss I had applied with a fake address. He laughed it off, but he must have forgot.

After my drama, they basically told me they didn't want me working there anymore. (I wasn't exactly fired, but...) I stopped showing up, and the company sent my last check to the fake address. The guy living there called them up and told them he never heard of me.

The company then sent me an email saying, basically, WTF?

Oh no, that wasnt good ...did you get your check back ?

Echinacea wrote:Oh no, that wasnt good ...did you get your check back ?

Yep.