In my experience most nons are "evil"

If not why was I always bullied by them wherever i go since early childhood? They are cruel, judgemental and shallow. Its not just me, observing what they do to each other makes my skin crawl. Nons act like victims when it suits them, but when they are the bullies its all good. I noticed they are most vile when they are in group, probably because they have more power that way. The more power they feel they have, the more abusive toward minorities and weaker ones they become.

Sometimes Im so paranoid that I see myself against the whole world. You cant trust anyone, and one part of me have that desire to become a psychopath regardless if its possible or not. I just think they are "right".

Nons are hypocrites and herd animals. Showing some empathy towards your group and abusing the people out of that group is no better. At least psychopats dont discriminate that much and they see everyone as potential lunch. If i cant trust anyone, why should i care about them. Even tho I still care Im starting to think that Im wrong and that I should strive to become more selfish.

Hi,

I think I know what you mean about a lot of people acting badly or 'evil' but pretending like they are so good and using groups and established ideologies (which are actually wrong) to protect themselves and their ways of thinking. Humans can act like herd animals and I think this type of 'evil' behaviour or double moral standards mostly just comes down to stupidity in some way. I'm not trying to use dramatic examples to over-dramatise every day life but look at what happened in Nazi Germany. That could have happened anywhere if the circumstances and current situation in society was right at the time. A lot of Germans did leave Germany at that time though and I'm not just talking about Jews or ethnic minorities but a lot of artists, scientists and philosophers etc. who chose to leave because they didn't agree - those type of people were probably amongst the most likely to leave Nazi Germany as they obviously didn't agree but people from any profession could have left. I'm not saying that only people of those types of professions are intelligent and not 'evil' or that all of them are the same of course as some people from those professions of course stayed and supported Nazi's. I just read some statistics that more people from those professions tended to leave. but all I'm doing is just making the point that some people do have more intelligence and genuine morals even in the face of a society which is messed up and is influencing a lot of people to not behave well or have messed up thinking. Nons, pwBPD and psychopaths are all human and can all be 'evil' or not. Even psychopaths can be moral even without empathy as they just have to think about morality in a more logical way instead to try and make up for the lack of empathy. But yeah they don't have empathy so it's different I guess but i'm talking about their behaviour at least that they can behave morally for other reasons outside of empathy. Is it that you prefer or trust psychopaths more in a way because their cards are on the table so to speak? Whereas with nons it can be less obvious that they are 'evil' or something?

In my experience,"holy" people are some of the worst individuals you'll find polluting this allready festering boil on the arse end of the universe.Saying that you have a relationship with an all powerful,all knowing being,and beliving it,bring about such a level of arrogance and cruelty.Look at the inquisition,look at any major religion in this world.Notice how they spread,through fear,torture and murder.Religion makes good people do evil things,a fact proven over and over.Then,after they're finished torturing another person mentally or physicly,they go to their Jesus or Allah or whatnot,and ask for forgivness.And they get off jack free.You must understand that these people have no concience.My advice,let it go,and live your own life,whatever it is,whatever you want it to be,be who you are,trust in yourself,but don't hate.Hatered is but an outlet for helplesness.

In my experience this can be some tricky $#%^.

The vast majority of people with BPD were mentally and emotionally abused growing up, so most of us become hyper-perception of such behaviors in others. It will really stand out to us, and we will hone in on it way more than all of the benign people who might also be in a given environment.

And frankly that just makes sense. If you are being punched in the face, you're probably not going to notice much detail about your environment, all of your attention is going to be focused on being punched in the face, because that's how our instincts have to be wired in order to survive.

So if you are more able to spot threatening behaviors in others (which most people with BPD are), you will naturally have a lot of focus on those people, and our brains only have so much focus to spend, so to speak.

Another factor that makes it tricky, is that malignant people are likely to act out towards you in some way, they will initiate interaction, and thus be grabbing your attention. Whereas most benign people will only interact with you if the situation calls for it, or if you are reaching out to them. So once again this means malignant people tend to take front and center stage.

The overall result can be that it seems like most Nons suck, when often it is the case that most of the people you'be been interacting with and/or noticing, aren't Nons. But most of them would tell you in a heartbeat that they are, if hypothetically asked.

My advice is to just try to cement it in your mind and remind yourself as often as you can, that people who don't act like Nons, aren't Nons. Even if they would have you believe otherwise.

Even if you believe 90% of people aren't worth knowing, it isn't good to become so bitter you end up inadvertently pushing away the 10% who genuinely want to help rather than do you harm. I agree that most people follow the herd and don't really go out of their way to try and understand the experience of people who are not exactly like them. I think most people are just mentally lazy and closed minded. It's frustrating.

@Ghostly

I must admit that one side of me agrees somewhat with what you said. When I was seeing a psychiatrist I started observing my behaviour from a different angle and I realised that Im even delusional once in a while. That I perceive things negatively, read too much into some other peoples actions and make false asumptions. But that aside, there are certain facts that cant be overlooked. The reason I stated that those people were nons is because there were too many of them, nons make the majority of the population right? So since I was little I learned the hard way that the world isnt exactly a welcoming place, and it bothers me that people with personality disorders are seen as worse in general. I know about our black and white thinking, people are either saints or devils and our perception shifts, but arent even nons delusional in that aspect? Humans categorize everything but what if there are no saints in the animal kingdom, only breakfest and dinner (fargo quote)?

@Lyra
I dont trust anyone and thats why I dont know what to think of nons anymore. Sometimes everyone is "evil" in my eyes and then certain thought comes to my mind, every man for himself, Im alone in this world and morality is restricting me to behave in my best interest, maybe I could hurt others If all of us are "evil" anyway etc etc etc.

@Lingvist
Dont get me started on religion. As a boy I even physicaly hurt myself whenever I was swearing or doing something I thought was a sin. I never minded hurting myself tho. Its not even painful for me. At least not emotionaly.

@Frost
I just want to escape these horrible negative emotions even if I have to become a "monster". I cant live like this anymore. Its unbearable. Im changing too much as time goes on, its like im becoming everything i was against and I care less and less. Even tho I may be delusional it doesnt matter to me since im dying little by little. The change is inevitable unfortunately, and Im sorry i failed my old self, but I hardly feel any regret.


Sorry for the long post (and bad english), this was my first thread so I needed to get some things of my chest.

Well here is how I see it:

All of this PD crap exists on a spectrum, yeah? And a person can dysfunctions form different labels, it's not all cookie cutter.

Personally I think narcissistic traits are VERY common. I'm not convinced that it's inherent, though. I lean heavily towards the theory that modern day society is living very unnaturally from what our ancestors experienced, in many ways. I think there is an unprecedented amount of damaged people out there right now.

As just one example, in our more natural, ancient times, infants stayed with their mother at ALL times, and we lived tribal~ly. Community was very close-knit, everything was out in the open, everyone was helping each other with damn near everything.

Not today. Infants are left alone all night to "cry it out" until they go to sleep. Recent studies have shown that when the crying stops, it's not because the baby is actually asleep, but because the baby is in a state of dissociated horror believing that its mother has abandoned it. And there's a lot of weird and abusive crap going on behind closed doors, households are mostly isolated like this. Dysfunctional parents stressed out by the endless, over-worked grind of daily life, taking crap out on their kids, maybe shoving them into a daycare with complete strangers who might be predators for all anyone knows, etc etc etc. We are so far away from what is natural and healthy for us as a species, it's bad.

So I would venture the guess that "Nons" i.e. people who do not have at least a couple significant Cluster B dysfunctions, actually don't make up the vast majority of the populace. That doesn't make them Nons just because they're becoming more common.

Remember that wrong is wrong, even if everyone is wrong, and that right is right, even if no one is right.

Black and white thinking. Textbook example.

I didn't get along with the other kids, either, due to what appears to be conduct disorder and some early manifestations of BPD and/or NPD traits. But I wouldn't go so far as to say everyone is evil. As hard as it is to accept, kids will be kids, they really don't "get" the kind of damage they're doing. Most of them, at least. There are a few who know exactly what they're doing, who are probably destined for an illustrious prison career as adults, but they're actually kind of rare in the grand scheme of things.

Luminaire wrote:Nons act like victims when it suits them, but when they are the bullies its all good.

Nons act like victims for the same reasons people with PDs do. Some of them may not be dysfunctional enough to qualify for a PD diagnosis, that doesn't mean an otherwise reasonably well adjusted person can't wallow in self pity and feel victimized. Look at today's easily offended, overly PC culture. Most people are normal people, but look how many normal people feel like victims and need safe spaces. Some of them just kind of like the drama, I think, but most people who act like victims actually FEEL like they are the victim.

Being a non doesn't automagically mean perfect empathy and always seeing things from your perspective. Most nons CAN'T see things from our perspective. Read non posts in this board and the NPD board, they just don't understand. Many people think mental illness is hogwash, and that we choose to be this way. In some ways that's true, but in others, it isn't, overall it's more complicated than that. But a healthy, well adjusted person with mostly healthy coping skills isn't going to understand, relate to, or sympathize with a personality disorder which is by definition a collection of maladaptive coping mechanisms, denial of reality, and suppression/repression of a whole host of things we really shouldn't be repressing and suppressing.

Nons are homo sapiens just like you are. A certain degree of herd mentality is pretty deeply ingrained in us. I agree that people need to think outside the box and be more open-minded about a lot of things, but failure to do so does not make the overwhelming majority of humanity evil and bad. They simply do not understand. You don't seriously expect them to, do you?

when i read texts in general similar with trust issues ussually i feel the obvious underline pain that brings anger .and irationality. but i see mostly the pain.

i have this problem too . similar not in such extent. where i only want people with trauma because i feel they are the only ones who can understand me. everyone could hurt me but at least people with trauma suffer on their own too much, so i feel less angry with them and more empathy .because if they are like me,feels like hurting myself if i hurt them.or i justify them more because i justify my pain and attitude because of it.
but all the other can go ###$ themselves type of mentality .and all the nons can not possibly care enough.the nons will hurt me without caring much.
of course with the exception of antisocial and similar disorders that do not have empathy.
i know probably maybe? is not very logical but it seems perfectly logical to me .
is also strange because is more possible to be abused by someone with trauma. but not in my mind the ones who do not have it are so unrelatable and i can not communicate with them without pretending . does this makes any sense?

A lot of them aren't bad. Most of them simply don't know how to deal with us, so they do the best they can, which isn't always so great. There isn't exactly a lot of good information out there about mental illnesses and the people who deal with them. What good info there is, is often lost in the wash of incorrect information.

Yes, there are some who are horrid, but that subset exists in any group of people. Then add in things like the recent outbreaks of violence and media pundits determined that these people are mentally ill (though almost all studies show that most people with mental illnesses aren't likely candidates for mass shooters).

It's just as hard for them to filter out the truth from the garbage as it is for us. Sadly, when they are unable to do so, we pay the price for it.