Not trying to trigger or upset anyone...

But I'm just wondering if anyone else feels completely lost? I still live at home with my parents because I'm scared to go out in the world with no clear identity..I'm almost 28 years old...I'm sick of being so lost and confused about my identity...I really want to move on with my life...this is my biggest issue related to being borderline...can anyone relate?

That's a very normal feeling for us. Not having a sense of self, when everyone around seems to, is extremely stressful! You end up developing different identities, based on who you're with or what the situation calls for, and yeah, it gets freakin' exhausting!

As to how to fix it, I don't know. My therapist pointed out to me that when I have my biker colors on and am in "Casper" mode, it's almost a whole other personality for me. I'll speak up when I normally wouldn't. I'll walk into a room that I normally wouldn't dare go into. There are still a lot of commonalities between me being "me" and me being "Casper", but there are also a surprising number of distinctions. If I can ever figure out the Caramilk secret of how to merge the two to get the best of both worlds, I'll be happy to share it with you...

I still live at home with my parents because I'm scared to go out in the world with no clear identity..I'm almost 28 years old

Why are you scared? Finding a hobby, doing a simple job, find some friends isn't that hard. You can do the same as you do now you're still living with your parents, just with your one house.

I'm sick of being so lost and confused about my identity...

Most people have no clear identity, and if they have, they had a hard time finding it. Identity can change over the years. It's self-esteem that stays the same because it's something you develop in your younger years.

Do you have therapy or any help? If no, then go for it. They can help you if you really want.

Chainsaw wrote:Finding a hobby, doing a simple job, find some friends isn't that hard.

Whoa, whoa. Yes, it can be that hard. Unimaginably hard! That doesn't mean it's not worth trying to work through. But sometimes it's not in any way "easy."


Kandk8, has there been a time when you've felt more confident about your identity? Or like the confusion mattered less?

i'm not sure whether i have a stable sense of identity but i'm not loyal to myself...as in i look after myself more. if i get bored socializing or know i wont enjoy the meal with colleagues i avoid them. i eat food to keep myself healthy. often i treat myself as third person.

Ada wrote:

Chainsaw wrote:Finding a hobby, doing a simple job, find some friends isn't that hard.

Whoa, whoa. Yes, it can be that hard. Unimaginably hard! That doesn't mean it's not worth trying to work through. But sometimes it's not in any way "easy."


Kandk8, has there been a time when you've felt more confident about your identity? Or like the confusion mattered less?

I am sorry, I mean, try it. I wouldn't say that it's easy for someone with mental illness.

Chainsaw, it is really difficult for me to do that...my parents keep telling me to go out and meet friends but I'm so full of anxiety to go and meet people without a clear identity so I avoid people...I want to move somewhere and start fresh but it's all so overwhelming...people make me so nervous

Ada, not really...haven't really found a safe place to meet people and feel comfortable around them...I guess it's always going to be awkward and unnerving for me ugh :/

Was school bad too? [I mean. I'm guessing that is a reallllllly stupid question. But asking because I don't know.]