9 months- Borderline narcissism

I haven't self harmed for 9 months and I slipped up on Wednesday night (4/4). My friends were there to console me but my mom was madder than hell. Thing is, I don't feel bad for doing it. I felt as though I needed to be punished. And I succeeded. Borderline is not my only diagnosis. I have also veen diagnosed as a narcissist. My mom thought it (the cutting) was about her (narcissism). Narcissism must be environmental then (I'm adopted). Anyway my point is that I don't feel bad for self harming, should I? I felt like it was my call to do it because like i said I needed to be punished (masochism?).

Thanks for reading,gotta go.

So you said you felt the need to punish yourself - for what reason did you feel this way? What happened?
Masochism is defined as achieving sexual gratification or the tendency to derive sexual gratification, out of being abused emotionally or physically. So I suppose it wouldn't be that because you were doing it to yourself, right?
How serious were you in your attempt?
It is not polite to enjoy another person's failure, but in this situation I think I'm willing to make an exception.