What's Pissing You Off Right Now?

Echinacea wrote:And now you have me visualizing your irritation about it and im giggling but ..i used to have them days a lot but ..i haven't in a while. i remember them well, tin openers piss me off, many times i threw the can at the wall coz i couldnt open it (never asked for help) lol ..then pissed off coz i made a mess and then have to clean it up

What I want to know is, how did you go from "used to have them days a lot" to "haven't in a while." I'm so angry all the time, at everything. It's exhausting and it makes me so friggin sad, like I might as well give up this stupid battle and just friggin kill myself already bc it's never going to get any better... Not suicidal right now, just where my brain goes... But how did you do that? I try not to scream at my tangled cords, and usually I succeed, but sometimes it just feels nice to go the F off on something like headphones, something where there won't really be consequences... Seems like a better idea than bottling up everything and losing it on my partner. But then again, trying not to be a crazy, so I try to not let myself react, even when all I want to do is murder someone, anyone, lord please just give me a reason... all over a tangled cord.

ChaoticNeutral wrote:What I want to know is, how did you go from "used to have them days a lot" to "haven't in a while." I'm so angry all the time, at everything. It's exhausting and it makes me so friggin sad, like I might as well give up this stupid battle and just friggin kill myself already bc it's never going to get any better... Not suicidal right now, just where my brain goes... But how did you do that? I try not to scream at my tangled cords, and usually I succeed, but sometimes it just feels nice to go the F off on something like headphones, something where there won't really be consequences... Seems like a better idea than bottling up everything and losing it on my partner. But then again, trying not to be a crazy, so I try to not let myself react, even when all I want to do is murder someone, anyone, lord please just give me a reason... all over a tangled cord.

Truth is ...i found ways to manage
1. i buy as many tin with own ring pull (so that helps a lot)
2.tangled wires still bother the hell ot of me but i shout at myself "dont" take your time and then breathe and try again
3 foot steps above me still irritate me

Ive broken many things in frustration ...and all as i can say is that i take a deep breath and walk away from the ######6 annoying wire and try again when ive calmed a little bit

Cant always be conscious of our reactions but when you can ..stop take note of it like "its only a wire" breathe and come back to it later.

Echinacea wrote:Truth is ...i found ways to manage
1. i buy as many tin with own ring pull (so that helps a lot)
2.tangled wires still bother the hell ot of me but i shout at myself "dont" take your time and then breathe and try again
3 foot steps above me still irritate me

Ive broken many things in frustration ...and all as i can say is that i take a deep breath and walk away from the ######6 annoying wire and try again when ive calmed a little bit

Cant always be conscious of our reactions but when you can ..stop take note of it like "its only a wire" breathe and come back to it later.

Thanks for this. When I'm conscious of it, I guess it comes down to a choice... Breathe and walk away (winning, but not at all satisfying), or scream all the profanity I know as loudly as I can (feels like winning, but isn't). Does it get better as I make more choices to walk away and breathe? Bc screaming at inanimate objects feels so good... But does it make me more prone to scream at human beings? Do I need to overhaul my entire ######6 being just to help be one step closer to healthy? Or can I let it out sometimes without hurting what I'm working to achieve? If I stop letting it out sometimes, and navigate calmly every time, is that how I get healthy? Or is that honestly just too much to tolerate right now and I should give myself a break sometimes? So many questions... I hate this illness

Trigger warnings I guess?

Work scheduling. Short-handed at work so the extra shifts I have to work overlap a little with my husband's. No child care because I can't afford the $20 per day fee to leave my kid at daycare for thirty god damned minutes so I have to scramble every weekday that I work to find a relative who can come over, get my daughter off the bus, and watch her until my husband gets home because he's working an extra hour every day for god only knows how much longer.

Can't pull any more child-care miracles out of my rectum and once again facing the very real possibility of having to quit my job. That job is the only thing making my 5 year plan a reality. If I have to quit I will resent the ###$ out of everything and everyone even remotely tied to that decision.

It's been a quiet, smoldering rage for a couple weeks now. Doesn't help that everyone is working extra, some are pulling doubles and/or overtime, we're all pissed off about it and now there's a lot of tension at work.

New girl never even showed up for her first shift. I hope she gets hit by a bus.

ChaoticNeutral wrote:Thanks for this. When I'm conscious of it, I guess it comes down to a choice... Breathe and walk away (winning, but not at all satisfying), or scream all the profanity I know as loudly as I can (feels like winning, but isn't). Does it get better as I make more choices to walk away and breathe? Bc screaming at inanimate objects feels so good... But does it make me more prone to scream at human beings? Do I need to overhaul my entire ######6 being just to help be one step closer to healthy? Or can I let it out sometimes without hurting what I'm working to achieve? If I stop letting it out sometimes, and navigate calmly every time, is that how I get healthy? Or is that honestly just too much to tolerate right now and I should give myself a break sometimes? So many questions... I hate this illness

For me atm ...i dont have many irritations in my life, Im single so havent got a battle going on. i dont work many hours so i have time to think about my reactions more than i did a year ago. so i can only say that its fine to scream and shout ofc it is but choices are also helpful because we learn through DBT to use alternative reaction, its helping me but i still have off days too just not as many now i know see my reaction before i let rip

Life

That the guy I like hasn't contacted me today .

My big stupid mouth. I know I am more functional when I don't open up to people in my life, but here again, I dredged some $#%^ up and now I'm not OK.

My current employment. One thing I really hate about my field is that I am blamed for everything my client does. If he chooses to break something "why didn't you control him?" Um it's not my job to control another human being thanks. But no one gets that. If he makes a choice that's bad for him "oh well why didn't you talk to him? Tell him he can't." I DID. BUT HE'S AN AUTONOMOUS HUMAN BEING WHO MAKES HIS OWN DECISIONS AND HE ISN'T GOING TO ALWAYS LISTEN TO ME. What would they do if a person who didn't have an aid worker did the same thing? Talk to the actual person about it. This is why so many clients pull stuff like this is because no one holds them accountable, they only take it to the worker. So when I do tell him what might happen, he doesn't take it seriously because no one has that conversation with him so anything I do is just empty "threats."

I'm excited for my possible career change soon, so tired of being expected to play God and get paid peanuts to do it.

^ You have better patience than I do. I'd have quit already.

I walked out on my last job because the person who was training me lied and said that they told me something they never told me. I corrected them and they argued with me, which I couldn't tolerate.

It wouldn't have been such a big deal if they hadn't criticized me so harshly for not listening when they never even told me what to do. All I did was ask how to do something and they gave me attitude. And even if the situation would have been different and I would have forgotten what they said, I still wouldn't have put up with the attitude.

If it came down to being a criminal or putting up with that crap to make a living, I'd be a criminal.