Could my husband be borderline? *TW*

1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Note: Do not include suicidal or self mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.

2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

3. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self image or sense of self.

4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.

5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior.

6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).

7. Chronic feelings of emptiness.

8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).

9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

*A. Significant impairments in personality functioning manifest by:
1. Impairments in self functioning (a or b):
a. Identity: Markedly impoverished, poorly developed, or unstable self-image, often associated with excessive self-criticism; chronic feelings of emptiness; dissociative states under stress.

b. Self-direction: Instability in goals, aspirations, values, or career plans.

AND

2. Impairments in interpersonal functioning (a or b):
a. Empathy: Compromised ability to recognize the feelings and needs of others associated with interpersonal hypersensitivity (i.e., prone to feel slighted or insulted); perceptions of others selectively biased toward negative attributes or vulnerabilities.

b. Intimacy: Intense, unstable, and conflicted close relationships, marked by mistrust, neediness, and anxious preoccupation with real or imagined abandonment; close relationships often viewed in extremes of idealization and devaluation and alternating between over involvement and withdrawal.

*B. Pathological personality traits in the following domains:
1. Negative Affectivity, characterized by:
a. Emotional liability: Unstable emotional experiences and frequent mood changes; emotions that are easily aroused, intense, and/or out of proportion to events and circumstances.

b. Anxiousness: Intense feelings of nervousness, tenseness, or panic, often in reaction to interpersonal stresses; worry about the negative effects of past unpleasant experiences and future negative possibilities; feeling fearful, apprehensive, or threatened by uncertainty; fears of falling apart or losing control.

c. Separation insecurity: Fears of rejection by – and/or separation from – significant others, associated with fears of excessive dependency and complete loss of autonomy.

d. Depressivity: Frequent feelings of being down, miserable, and/or hopeless; difficulty recovering from such moods; pessimism about the future; pervasive shame; feeling of inferior self-worth; thoughts of suicide and suicidal behavior.

2. Disinhibition, characterized by:
a. Impulsivity: Acting on the spur of the moment in response to immediate stimuli; acting on a momentary basis without a plan or consideration of outcomes; difficulty establishing or following plans; a sense of urgency and self-harming behavior under emotional distress.

b. Risk taking: Engagement in dangerous, risky, and potentially self-damaging activities, unnecessarily and without regard to consequences; lack of concern for one's limitations and denial of the reality of personal danger.

3. Antagonism, characterized by:
a. Hostility: Persistent or frequent angry feelings; anger or irritability in response to minor slights and insults.

*C. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are relatively stable across time and consistent across situations.

*D. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are not better understood as normative for the individual‟s developmental stage or socio-cultural environment.

*E. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are not solely due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, medication) or a general medical condition (e.g., severe head trauma).

Shiloh_Wallace wrote:Sounds more like a narcissistic to me since borderlines have way too much empathy and that is why them (we) get hurt all the time. In my own research and experience a borderline would not just post pics to "hurt" you. They would actually hurt semselves somehow if they felt hurted. I might be wrong but what you say doesn't sound too borderline.

Shiloh_Wallace wrote:Sounds more like a narcissistic to me since borderlines have way too much empathy and that is why them (we) get hurt all the time. In my own research and experience a borderline would not just post pics to "hurt" you. They would actually hurt semselves somehow if they felt hurted. I might be wrong but what you say doesn't sound too borderline.

Psycho Delica wrote:Wow - I can't help but feel a little insulted the symptoms your husband has are being thought of as BPD! haha ... I am just joking, kind of. But seriously, Im gonna just say that i do not believe he is BPD. I am going with NPD.

Borderlines will still rage at their nearest and dearest - but what makes them different to a NPD is afterwards they are able to reflect and feel remorse. And will aplogise and try to make things right/up to the person. NPD do not do this. They will rage, then convince themselves that they were completely in the right and justified, no matter what. Your feelings are completely irrelevant. Empathy is non existent, where a pwBPD will still have empathy even though they are disordered and will try to right their wrongs.

It also sounds like your husband is projecting. What he is accusing you of is what he is actually doing.

Rigning wrote:You clearly don't have a single ######6 clue as to what the emotionally unstable personality even entails. Viva las your retarded ass American DSM.

madjoe wrote:
interesting point about borderlines having too much empathy
i'm not sure empathy is a factor in borderline
emotions is a factor for sure (or more like emoational overloade/tilt)
i think even that het emotional overload blackades the empathy
and the co depandant thing doer that have to do with empathy
interesting question can you be codependant with out empathy?

am i seeing this wrong/right
annyone have an opinnion on this?

Rigning wrote:You clearly don't have a single ######6 clue as to what the emotionally unstable personality even entails. Viva las your retarded ass American DSM.

madjoe wrote:doent matter what he is only what he does
borderline can mean a lot of things
but it van nver be an excuse
let's say he gets tested and they say he's borderline
will you allow him to do more bad things?
if he doesnt do therapy does that mean you'll break up with him?
if he does therapy and doesn't make preogression will you break up with him?