Do I actually feel the way I feel?

I have been in a relationship with a guy for six years and although it's been very up and down, we have always come out on top.. And soon, we will live together again in a new place, the other side of the country.

Twice in all the time we've been together, I have thought I had a crush on someone I know and I wanted to see them a lot, but it fizzled out within days and I then never thought of them again. I've since been told that this is my borderline personality disorder exacerbating my 'real' feelings and I never truly liked them in the first place..

I'd also like to add that I NEVER acted on any feelings and I have never once cheated on my partner.

Anyway, there's this girl I used to work with, which for the purpose of this I'll call Sarah. We became really close and we always had a laugh together. I never saw her in a romantic light for all of the time I have known her, until the last couple of weeks. This is much longer than a few days and then nothing.. She's this gorgeous Indian girl with the most amazing smile and hair which is so beautiful, and she is easily the kindest person I know. She got quite upset when she found out I was moving, and lets me know, regularly, that she doesn't want me to go.. But friends do that.

I just want to be around Sarah all of the time, especially in the last two weeks. We message each other a lot and we are always so complimentary of each other, too. Talking to Sarah, and being with her, is easily the best part of my day. We are quite affectionate people in general, so are more touchy than most, so I don't know how to read into that one.. But her hand brushed against my leg at a meal the other night- totally innocently- and it was electric. I now can't stop thinking about her.. She's married and I can't see her feeling the same way. Even if she did, I am too loyal to my partner to do anything about it, but still..

It's driving me insane! I just don't know if it's my BPD over-exaggerating how I feel, or if this is how I feel. Is there even a way to really know? I feel like I am drowning. Has anyone else felt like this?

I've dwelled on innocent tiny feelings of attractions so much in my past relationships.
I think the issue is partly that it allows us to detach ourselves a little from our current partner, we at times fear being smothered (the old go-away-don't-leave) and entertaining feelings for others allows us to detach from our very serious committed relationship
And of course, it feels awful (at least for me) to have such feelings, I personally felt like I was cheating if I even found someone attractive. I dwelled obsessively on it and made it out to be something much bigger and scarier than it really was.
I've never cheated or wanted to, and I most likely never will. I just despise infidelity. This might also fuel my dwelling on innocent feelings of attraction.

It could just be a crush that is especially amplified in the feels department due to a tendency for greater emotional intensity across the board. It could also be spurred on by all sorts of possible things, like getting ready to move to the other side of the country with someone you might not feel 100% confident about. Etc.

I think everyone feels the way they feel, but figuring out where it's really coming from is usually more important than challenging its validity.

It's okay to have crushes, you don't cheat, and that's fairly normal, to have the occasional crush but also self-control.

But maybe pay attention to other feelings that may be getting pushed aside. How do you feel about moving to the other side of the country with this guy? Any doubts/anxiety? Any desire to have a reason to not go?

Going through the same thing right now.

My boyfriend is moving in with me in 2 months, and I'm absolutely freaking out about it. Our relationship is up and down, too. Mostly downs as of late (I'm back on medication and adjusting.) I'm having a lot of doubts and wondering how much of it is true doubt and how much of it is my borderline just exaggerating it.

This guy I've never met but lives in my hometown and graduated a couple years before me started texting me about music and cats. He's not into me, at least not emotionally - I think he probably just hooks up with girls. He seems a little cocky. But still, I've had thoughts a few times about, "what would it be like if I left my boyfriend and saw someone else?" It's usually something different that allows me to stray away from that thought, but it's still there sometimes, and that can be a little unnerving.

I think, to a certain degree, it is normal. After such a long relationship and right before you're making such a life-changing commitment, I can see how you would be feeling this way.

If you love him, I say go for it. If you genuinely feel like you want to act on those feelings of attraction to another person, don't. I got messed up with an ex about three months into my current relationship, things happened, and all of a sudden for the first time in my life I was labeled a cheater, something I said I would never do and never wanted to, it disgusts me. But it wasn't about attraction, or not being emotionally connected to my boyfriend. I got stuck in a really strange situation with this ex, and felt the only way out of it (out of fear of being hurt if I said no) was to just get it over with. I told my boyfriend, and it hurt him really bad, but he understood. And now I know that I don't ever, ever, ever want to be with someone else physically and sexually.

I guess it's really your call. That can be scary, I know. Just try to think about the consequences/effects of either action. And try to be open with him, too. That usually helps overcome some of the doubt.