how can one be sure that there is a mental health issue

I ask this because it is a question that has plagued my mind for a long time and really plagued it after my dad started to ream me.

is my issue really a mental health issue, or just a series of situational issues that I have no coping for? are the voices I am hearing just voices? or are they just the manifestation of thought and the animation of said conversation between my mind and subconscious? do I really black out and go on a rampage that I don't remember? or is it that I just choose to forget the issues where I overdose and stuff?

if I did an MRI? would anything show? is this literally all made up in my head? am I really having issues that can cause this? is my impulsivity an issue created by me, or given to me? were the suicides just an act, a plea for help, or just me trying to convince myself that there was a problem? do the meds that I was taking help, or was I just thinking it was helping?

basically: should I go for help because I think there is a problem, or am I making it all up and I should avoid help as it is doing more harm than good and wasting people's time?

I just don't know what the hell is going on...

np01 wrote:I ask this because it is a question that has plagued my mind for a long time and really plagued it after my dad started to ream me.

is my issue really a mental health issue, or just a series of situational issues that I have no coping for? are the voices I am hearing just voices? or are they just the manifestation of thought and the animation of said conversation between my mind and subconscious? do I really black out and go on a rampage that I don't remember? or is it that I just choose to forget the issues where I overdose and stuff?

if I did an MRI? would anything show? is this literally all made up in my head? am I really having issues that can cause this? is my impulsivity an issue created by me, or given to me? were the suicides just an act, a plea for help, or just me trying to convince myself that there was a problem? do the meds that I was taking help, or was I just thinking it was helping?

basically: should I go for help because I think there is a problem, or am I making it all up and I should avoid help as it is doing more harm than good and wasting people's time?

I just don't know what the hell is going on...

Step #1. Move out of your parents' house.
Step #2. Cease all contact with your parents.
Step #3. Seek advice from a psychologist.

To get technical, our mental health issues are in our heads. They are based on our history of coping; for whatever reason, we have learned certain ways to cope with certain situations that, although effective in the short term, are detrimental overall. That's why therapy is more effective than medication - extensive learning is what made us this way and extensive learning is what can change us. Medication can help, don't get me wrong, but in our case, it's not the be-all and end-all.

As both you and Rigning have commented, getting away from your father sounds like a very wise idea, as it sounds like he has been very invalidating of you, from what you've said. Even if you don't cease contact permanently, getting away from him and only having casual, social contact for a while may be beneficial to you.

Also, getting a therapist with whom you can discuss matters in depth would be huge, possibly even more so than moving out. A good one can help you make sense of things, rather than just let you talk for an hour. Last week, I was suicidal but couldn't figure out why. Within an hour, my therapist had a whole list of factors that contributed to me feeling the way I did, and I actually felt better because of it, because I was getting down on myself for not having any valid reason (that I knew of) for being so down. Someone who can help you make sense of things is someone who can help you fix things.

Casper wrote:To get technical, our mental health issues are in our heads. They are based on our history of coping; for whatever reason, we have learned certain ways to cope with certain situations that, although effective in the short term, are detrimental overall. That's why therapy is more effective than medication - extensive learning is what made us this way and extensive learning is what can change us. Medication can help, don't get me wrong, but in our case, it's not the be-all and end-all.

As both you and Rigning have commented, getting away from your father sounds like a very wise idea, as it sounds like he has been very invalidating of you, from what you've said. Even if you don't cease contact permanently, getting away from him and only having casual, social contact for a while may be beneficial to you.

Also, getting a therapist with whom you can discuss matters in depth would be huge, possibly even more so than moving out. A good one can help you make sense of things, rather than just let you talk for an hour. Last week, I was suicidal but couldn't figure out why. Within an hour, my therapist had a whole list of factors that contributed to me feeling the way I did, and I actually felt better because of it, because I was getting down on myself for not having any valid reason (that I knew of) for being so down. Someone who can help you make sense of things is someone who can help you fix things.

Yeah. I can see where you're coming from

And I don't have to worry about moving out. I'm homeless now. My dad kicked me out after my last suicide attempt when he found out about my "mental health, he booted me and dropped me from insurance. Yay me...

-- Tue Mar 01, 2016 9:13 am --

Also, I want contact with my more caring mother, so I don't want to lose contact with both me parents

I knew you said he was, but I was hoping that it was just a knee-jerk reaction on his part and that he'd come to his senses.

Nope. He's pretty serious. 100%

np01 wrote:Yeah. I can see where you're coming from

And I don't have to worry about moving out. I'm homeless now. My dad kicked me out after my last suicide attempt when he found out about my "mental health, he booted me and dropped me from insurance. Yay me...

-- Tue Mar 01, 2016 9:13 am --

Also, I want contact with my more caring mother, so I don't want to lose contact with both me parents

Ok. So, a slight change of plans, then.

Step #1. Beat your father half to death.
Step #2. Cease all contact with your parents.
Step #3. Seek advice from a psychologist.

Unless you want me to do it for you. He's a piece of $#%^ and he needs a life lesson. There's nothing to regret, and everything to be proud of by beating his ass.

so Ideally:

step 1 : call you to beat father

step 2: cease contact with father, maintain with mother

step 3: get insurance and job / back in school

step 4: speak to psychologist, old therapist, and a better psychiatrist than the $#%^ one that just wrote me off as treatment resistant.

is that aboot right?

Or move to another planet and live with the aliens

np01 wrote:so Ideally:

step 1 : call you to beat father

step 2: cease contact with father, maintain with mother

step 3: get insurance and job / back in school

step 4: speak to psychologist, old therapist, and a better psychiatrist than the $#%^ one that just wrote me off as treatment resistant.

is that aboot right?

In my papers it says that I need an experienced psychologist, as most people with an emotionally unstable personality do. Students and other mediocre psychologists will mess up badly when they first mess up, so I can't just have any random schmuck, especially not a "therapist" quack who goes "D'awww, I feel so sorry for you," as if I want their meaningless pity, which frankly I take offense to, or their "Have you tried lighting candles, putting on a sweet song, and thought of happy thoughts," as if I need superficial aid, pampering, or more escapism than I already indulge in.

I had access to the largest university hospital in Northern Europe at the time I was diagnosed, but now, I live in a secluded part of the country where the closest thing to an experienced psychologist is the head psychiatrist at the nearest hospital, and he's stressed the fact that he's not a psychologist. I keep him entertained for about an hour, once every three weeks. I should go once a week, but he's a busy man. It borders what I require, but I manage.

If you're like Casper, where you get all cuddly wubbly with your shrink (paraphrase), and/or you're prone to suicidal gestures, and/or make your psychologist's life a living hell, none of which I'm prone to do, then yeah, you definitely need an experienced psychologist, more so than I do, and in my papers it's been stressed in bold and underline. That's to point out just how much you need someone who knows their s***. I mean if I need it, you can imagine how much you do. Which is not to say that you're sicker than me, but that in this specific area you might need more attention. Let's face it, I would beat the $#%^ out of your dad, heck I beat the $#%^ out of mine, so I might be sicker, but I'm emotionally distant from my shrink, so I might be easier to deal with there.

That said, I live in Scandinavia where mental illnesses are actually considered to be illnesses, illnesses that often but not necessarily have a negative impact on crime, and economy, and our government are obligated to help us, not just out of humanitarian reasons, but because they, or we rather, are aware of the fact (more so than in North America) that we profit a hell of a lot more by aiding and guiding people to become constructive members of society than robbing them of those rights. I don't get food stamps because I get paid $2000-3000 a month in welfare. They are obligated to make sure that I have access to a roof over my head and electricity so I don't freeze to death, to a bathroom so I can take a $#%^, a shower so I can keep myself clean, food so I don't starve, a fridge so my food don't go sour, and medical attention so that I in general don't ######6 die. I don't need life insurance because hospitals are obligated to offer me aid at any cost, and our government has to pay the bill. How screwed are you if you live in North America? I don't know, but I can imagine that you're proper screwed, because to me it always sounds like North America is a snake pit.

I would not stay in touch with my mother, neither. And I don't.

But, ok, let's try to be realistic.

1. Cease contact with your father, stay somewhat in touch with your mother.
2. Get a proper, experienced psychologist, preferably one of the same sex if you're prone to getting emotionally close to the opposite sex.

How would those two work?