Feeling empty

Since my ex left me, I have this huge chronic feeling of emptiness, even when I logically know that I have every reason in the world to feel fulfilled. It was already there before we dated but with the break up this feeling of emptiness amplified. My life could be running smoothly in all areas, yet I always feel like there’s something missing. It’s like a huge hole within me that can never be filled.

It's a known fact that you can have every reason to be happy, but if you're put in a situation that eliminates any positive thoughts from reaching the point of 'reality' - you're not going to be aware, you'll be rather blind to the positives as the negatives tend to dominate over them.

Hi Ella,

yet I always feel like there’s something missing.

Yes you will feel like this until your happy in yourself (in your own mind,body and soul)
Take this special time to work on your self and your own healing (with out the need of a man) for now, once you are happy in your own skin then you can be more confident and find true happiness

your happiness starts with yourself

hope this makes sense

I feel the exact same way. And then I get frustrated with myself that I feel so desperately empty, and that Im not more secure in myself, more purpose-filled. Everyone else makes it look so easy. And I have a good life I should be spending my time being thankful for, enjoying, living t the fullest. Instead I lay here bound to the couch while emptiness eats me whole. How can we make this feeling go away? I would do anything...

cassabella wrote:I feel the exact same way. And then I get frustrated with myself that I feel so desperately empty, and that Im not more secure in myself, more purpose-filled. Everyone else makes it look so easy. And I have a good life I should be spending my time being thankful for, enjoying, living t the fullest. Instead I lay here bound to the couch while emptiness eats me whole. How can we make this feeling go away? I would do anything...

@cassabella : Hey....just want that I truly understand your feelings right now. I would like to give you an answer but I don't have one. The only thing that force me to get out of my bed is when I have obligations to fulfill (therapist appointment, my job).

Hang in there. I wish there would be a miracle cure.

The feeling empty and alone is something I've learned to live with. I accept it just like my hair loss. I hate it but it's what I have. What bothers me about it most is feeling contempt towards people trying to inject their concerns into it like some kind of vaccine, as if it fixes anything.

Can I ask you all how you guys experience 'feeling empty'? I always had some strange unsatisfied feeling, but I never recognized it as feeling empty until I got my BPD diagnosis. Moreover, because it was something I've literally felt always, I didn't see it as something strange, I just really assumed that everyone feels this way.

This feeling is most strong when I'm in a social situation while I'm not feeling well. In my sky high moods it moves to the background, although I can still feel it moving under the surface, an aching feeling of loneliness and insecurity. And then when I'm starting to fall again, it gets bigger and bigger.

I just wonder who ever invented the explanation of 'feeling empty'. If you've always felt empty, how can you recognize it as emptiness, since it's just the only feeling you know? I mean, there isn't a 'fulfilled' feeling that you can compare it to, if you have never experienced being fulfilled, right?

Feeling empty to me is where nothing feels right, but nothing feels wrong, it's confusion and it's loss of direction, broken motivation and muted emotions. the world feels quiet and everything stops moving, you feel like a shadow of your body, but at the same time you're invisible. Emptiness is the state of being unable to find reason to do anything, so you just sit there dwelling on your desolation. it feels as though you're ceased to exist, the solitude persuades such a heavy weight that your body aches. you fall into a chronic state of vacancy, desperation of wanting to reach out to people, but everyone's too far away, everything that makes you feel safe again becomes distant. it's like your brain is declining and the four walls around you are set to decay at any given moment.

Emptiness is one of the worst feelings but it's a mission to break free. I think there's a point where we all think our behaviour and mannerisms are naturally exhibited as human beings and It really weighs you down to find that these things are nothing but idiosyncrasies.

However, it is a resistant conviction of mine that behaviour and decisions are not to define an individual, it's all a learning curve; that's what life is, exploring yourself and finding your true identity. these 'abnormal' behaviours we may exhibit are not to set us apart from the 'normies'

6-13: Nonexistent
14-19: Ghost
20-30: Empty

Those are the words I would use.

I can't explain feelings, but when I say empty I mean it's nothing in here. I think it comes from when the psychologists keep asking me what I want out of my life as if I'm supposed to know. It's like when people ask "Why do you continue living?" Why? There's no why. I just do.

Also, regarding this:

DutchDeary wrote:I just wonder who ever invented the explanation of 'feeling empty'. If you've always felt empty, how can you recognize it as emptiness, since it's just the only feeling you know? I mean, there isn't a 'fulfilled' feeling that you can compare it to, if you have never experienced being fulfilled, right?

There will come a point where your awareness spikes, you can't be blind to it forever. we're always finding motive and reason behind everything, so why would it be any different in this case?